Best of KCFORUM.NET - 3rd Edition

W: Hi folks! It's quite possible that this will be the last update for a week and a half or so. On a positive note, it's quite a lengthy one, so hopefully it'll keep you busy for a few minutes.

"You can have that surgery (breast enhancement) done in a week, especially when you think that a PAYDAY is right around the corner." - HuskerBen
W: The PAYDAY H-Ben is referring to belongs to Kobe Bryant's accuser.

"I am endearingly entertained by the man (John Renshaw), and will listen to his Beavus & Butthead takes until KK is trying to run from stories about covering up cat pee stains on the carpet of a house he's selling." - Soylent Green
W: As I mentioned on KCFORUM.net, I am endearingly entertained by those who are so endearingly entertained by Renshaw. Considering their parallel love for The Freak, I'm starting to wonder if Soylent Green and Greg Hall are the same person.

"Did I miss anything while I was gone.... The ESPYs were off the heezy. I chilled at Hef's crib the night before the big shindig. Serena Williams blew me off. I wanted a photo with her, but she totally dissed me. Her and Keyshawn are kicking it, and Key was definitely giving me the evil eye all weekend. Mean mugged me at Hef's and at Jamie Fox's afterparty..... Damn, I'm just name droppin'..... The sports fan passion in this city has opened a lot of doors for me..... Thanks. And I mean that..." - bigsexy
W: If reading this didn't make you want to hurl...

"Chuck, don't take the bait. He just checks in every now and then to see if he's still relevant." - Hot Carl
W: So sad yet so true, Carl. It's interesting to note how bigsexy is now lobbying with the residents of KC Forum. If you ask questions that refer to his lack of work ethic in the past, he will not answer them. But if you ask him anything related to his opinion on a subject or the new radio station/show, he's all over it. Sounds to me like he is just trying to keep his name out here to the few listeners/readers who don't despise him.

"Renshaw is confused about a lot of things and it comes across on air." - bigsexy
W: How do you spell "hippo-crit"?

W: When asked how he himself stacked up against the rest of KC's sports radio personalities.
"That's for others to decide. All I can say is that a major radio company just flipped a $30-million station to get me on its airwaves. ESPN begs me to do radio for them all the time. People in the radio business think I stack up real well. But it's very subjective and might depend upon whether you wake up every day praying that I fail." - bigsexy
W: I used to be in radio. No one ever told me that I sucked to my face. Was I good? Or did I just think I was good because no one told me I sucked?

"This is why that dumb bastard (Kobe Bryant) shouldn't have gotten married so fukkin quick. Because if it's true, that young chick will only know divorce and money sooner or later"- Mr. Holla

"I'm happily married, but so many chicks try to sweat my jock that I won't go on a biz trip if I have to travel with a chica" - Original Stonie
W: Leave an opening, and Stonie will slip in...literally.

"Glad you learned your lesson. Must have been embarrassing to live through sooo many Crying Game scenes as a young man huh?" - JayhawkChris
W: J-Chris slaps a friendly stone back at Stonie.

W: Proposed names for Maas & Whitlock's new show...
"Between The Meat" - DiggityDawg
"Buffets Beware, There's a remote coming your way" - HuskerBen
"Constipation and Diahrrea" - Soylent Green
"10 pounds of crap in a 5 pound bag" - Original Stonie
"Stir of Egos" - westmar

"Does anyone find it ridiculous that papers like the Denver Post are quoting "internet user Dudemac" as a source. The pictures on the internet are obviously of a teenage high school girl, but HOW IN THE HELL WOULD ANYONE KNOW IF THAT IS HER? Oh, I forgot, Dudemac said it was so. I'm going to get a job at the KC Star and start quoting Westmar and Hot Carl as my sources." - KC Mouth

"Renshaw is great he likes to drink until he pukes and bang chics my kinda guy!" - *Tudge*W: The only part I personally try not to do anymore is the puke-part.

"Guys, I'll check back with some posts later tonight. I've got an OTC column due in the morning and I've got to get it finished before I can play." - Greg Hall
W: "Play"? Apparently GH doesn't realize that KCFORUM.net is as serious as a Pork Chop fart.

"As for the comments that I was “way off” concerning Maas and Grunhard’s WHB contracts, I disagree. Grunhard will be unable to be on Entercom’s air throughout most of the Chiefs 2003 season. Maas won’t be available at all during the regular season. If you believe Entercom was aware of this and planned their strategy of rolling out an all-sports radio station in January 2004 populated with three guys (Maas, Grunhard and Whitlock) who are known almost solely for their football takes, you are far more naïve than I would have guessed." - Greg Hall
W: Some of us are stupefied by the fact that GH generally writes with soothing credibility, and yet he refuses to admit that he was a little off base with his evaluation of the Maas/Grunhard situation with Union/En-Terd-Com

"I think that's the one ("9 1/2 Weeks" movie/video) Hot Carl used when he dead horsed his wife last night." - hawkchief

"Chris George is a steaming pile of crap" - Original Stonie
W: Well...he is, isn't he?

"Westmar, how are you even qualified to guess? If you don't know anything about the NBA, how can you possibly know anything about NBA Player's one night stands?" - hawkchief
W: The irony of ChicagoJeff telling me that my short take on Kobe (below) lacked credibility because I didn't discuss the NBA is hilarious by the day. I am constantly hearing various national sports figures state something to the extent of "This Kobe Bryant situation has nothing to do with the NBA."

"What Westy doesn't know about the NBA he more than makes up for with his knowledge of high school lesbians" - Hot Carl
W: This is true, however.

"Not surprised to see Paula (KC Paul) welcoming a new board biotch. I bet you were glad when your brother was born too so that you only had to take 1/2 of the nightly 'visits' from daddy" - Phat Endy

"Just to clarify...you're not Scott Forest but you do follow gay wrestling?" - Hot Carl
W: Thankfully, Stugats has a good sense of humor...he walked right into this one.

W: Hot Carl upon discovering that BobbyD had given him his own forum.
"Wow, what can I say? I am honored and privileged to have this bestowed upon me. I'd like to thank all the little people who have helped me along the way, especially my Dad, whose little tickle prompted him to mount my Mom and have a third child. I'd like to thank all of you here at KCForum for greeting me with insults, blasts and other assorted rude comments. And above all, I'd like to thank God, who somehow found the time to help me while Mike Sweeney is hurt and monopolizing his time. Thanks again. Peace, out." - Hot Carl

"To think that the Royals can go through any extended period without making any mistakes on personel decisions sounds like my wife's expectations of home improvement projects. If you guys are going to start sounding like my wife all the damn time, you have left me no choice but to drink heavily. This place is my escape, if you take it away I will have to go with the conventional drug and alcohol as my crutch!!" - JayhawkChris

"Wolverine Willie and Stick have left the board temporarily to put together a duet album." - DrHolmes

" I don't care who gets all skinny as long as their milkbags don't start dryin'up!" - Hot Carl
W: It's amazing what kind of conversations the name "Jennifer Connelly" can start.

"What about when she (Connelly) goes lesbo with Kristy Swanson in "Higher Learning"? I'd give my left nut just to sniff the sheets after they were done...wow!" - pell

"Your first act as prez should be to make jose lima get a cap that fits." - DrGonzo
W: And after that we need to see what we can do about Carlos Beltran and Mike Sweeney's moles.

"If your mascot is the Hawkeye, why do they have the entire head as a logo?" - hawkchief
W: A good question that even a guy from Iowa has never considered.

Best of KCFORUM.NET - 2nd Edition

W: I started a short thread this last week that mentioned how "slow" things had seemed in the recent days at KCFORUM.net. This was most likely due to the lack of national sporting events, H2K's getaway vacation to Tahoe, and Sweatlock's absence from the radio and forum. Needless to say, there are still some great quotes below from a number of people. For the record, I do my best to get a variety of name's posted in these excerpts - so please keep 'em comin':

"Ya know, if not for the extremely myopic and pathetic Chiefs posts over the last couple of years, KC Paul might actually be 'one of the guys'. However, the backlash of the 'TRENT GREEN IS RUNNING THE SHOW NOW. 10-6, COUNT ON IT' post has left him slumming around the forums defending himself from viscious potshots from everyone. He coulda been huge. Instead, he's just Paula. Sounds like an E!-True Hollywood Story"...I-Hawk

"KK was the Febles on the team. Head cheerleader, would have been sent down to JV except a few teammates were always hurt so they needed him to fill the roster"...BobbyD
W: And like Febles, KK plays good defense - "I didn't say that!"

"Def Leppard kind of fits this thread...their drummer is missing an arm and Maas' wool is missing a finger. I can see the analogy"...Hot Carl

"I don't know that God has much time for Sweeney right about now. I heard that he's really busy on getting 3 Supreme Court Justices to kick the bucket"...tonyloser

"Maybe Jack (Wagner) will sing, 'All I Need' in the bedroom tonight and give KK and Jess a little 'mood music'"...JayhawkChris

"I thought Larry Johnson played for the Knicks?"...Hot Carl
W: I couldn't tell you for sure. I've been told I know nothing about the NBA.

"KK - 'Mr. Shanahan?'

Shan - 'Yeah, kid. I'll take a whiskey and water.'

KK - 'I don't think you understand. I'm Kevin Kietzman.'

Shan - (pulls out a dollar bill and puts it in KK's hand) 'There ya go, kid. Buy yourself something nice. Now how 'bout that whiskey and water?'"...westmar

W: I promise to not quote myself regularly. Hot Carl was kind enough to suggest the above.

"I'm still not saying he is innocent or guilty, but they don't charge you for sexual assault if you are playing pick up sticks in your hotel room"...hawkchief

"Kobe will soon be playing a rousing game of pick-up-sticks with his butt cheeks. And when he is done with that he will be playing that classic 'Sniffin farts out of old prison mattresses'"...CDUBB
W: You have to give props to a guy who can throw a take like this only a day after losing his job. Good luck, CDUBB!

"Kornikova is not sports worthy reporting. I liken it to...Wendy Whoppers making an appearnce at Diamond Joes"...Paintman
W: Which begs the question: What the fug in going on at 810?

"I ain't no freakin Italian! Although I did eat at Gorozzo's today. I am also no Stoner...just a man with a plan fo the ladies to dance...inside my pants"...Original Stonie
W: I found the Italian part of this quote the funniest, but the shoutout to the ladies was...umm...interesting. Maybe it was the beer in my system at the time.

"Open up a Gates in Jason's house. Then get him an alarm clock that sayes "HI MAY I HELP YOU" for an alarm. You'll be lighting your stogies with $100's"...DrHolmes
W: Good point. If Sweaty would've had that during his "Neighborhood" days, he might've actually gotten out of bed to do the show.

W:This is Stonie to CDUBB pertaining to his job search. Need I say more?
"You could also try to marry a certain divorcee' who may be cashing in bigtime after her disc jockey husband got caught H2K style"...Original Stonie

"On the bright side, I'm sure this was the FIRST time this has ever happened (WINK WINK): 'Yeah, I was just walking through the hotel and I slipped right into a naked womans coochie'"...Original Stonie
W: Stonie had a helluva week for running smack! He might be a little vulgar at times, but he's honest and you've gotta love that!

"Fellas, have a good night. I'm going to go put the wood to the wife"...Hot Carl
W: Hot Carl leaves no subject untouched when he is loaded with booze.

Kansas City Chiefs - Playoff Bound in 2003

One thing you should know before reading any more of my sports thoughts is that I am not a Kansas City "Homer". Originally from Iowa, I grew up living with approximately zero professional sports teams in my hometown. In fact, up until 10 years ago, Sioux City's sporting events were highlighted with high school football and baseball, and small college basketball. That being said, I grew up a fan of pro teams with varying geographical locations - Cowboys, Red Sox, Cubs, Cornhuskers - just to name a few.

When I moved to the Kansas City metro area in early 1997, I had no idea how much my sports mind would change. I kept telling myself I would never concern myself much with the Kansas City Chiefs and yet, shortly after arriving, I couldn't help myself. While I still don't consider myself a die-hard Chiefs fan, it's difficult to not have a strong opinion about the team and front office while living in the city where the team resides. I give my thoughts and opinions. I root for them. I want them to win. I question every breath Carl Peterson takes. So what makes me different than the majority of other Kansas City Chiefs "Fan-Boys"? I am VERY objective. I don't let the fact that I will be rooting for the Chiefs on Sunday cloud my vision of the truth when making a prediction on Saturday.

Keeping this in mind, I am the first to say that things are looking very good for the Kansas City Chiefs in the 2003-04 season. The defense has no choice but to be improved thanks to the recent free agent acquisitions, plus the fact that it cannot possibly get any worse. Jerome Woods will be healthy again, and we can all continue to hope that William Bartee will lose his spot on the team in training camp.

Offensively, Chiefs fans should still be very concerned about the Priest Holmes situation. Take everything he said about the condition of his hip on WHB with a grain of salt. No one (including Priest) knows for sure how it will hold up during the battle of a regular season game, let alone an entire 16 game season. And then there's the contract situation - don't even get me started. One thing you can believe for sure - Holmes was telling the truth about this. He will holdout if he doesn't have a new contract by September 7th. Carl Peterson screwed up (again) and now has his ass in a jam. If he doesn't get this mess cleaned up and Holmes sits out Game 1, every Chiefs fan in the world has a right to be upset with Carl - and I hope they go to great links to express it. Don't expect this problem to get solved anytime soon. And speaking of contract issues, it's almost time to start an "L.J. Watch" in River-Falls, WI. One thing is for sure, Peterson better get a running back to training camp. Does anyone know Greg Hill's phone number?

Putting the running back/contract problems aside, the Chiefs offense looks good on paper. How could it not after a record breaking 2002-03 season? The dilemna is the fact that it probably won't be as good in 2003-04. It's hard to imagine it getting much better, so we can probably expect it to drop off a little. That being said, it will be necessary for the Chiefs' defense to win some games for a change. Thankfully, that should be possible this season.

The other thing to keep in mind during the season is the status of Dick Vermeil. At the age of 95, Vermeil is in the last of year of a 3 year contract. This was/is supposed to be "the year". Will he sign a new deal in the middle of the season or will he wait until the conclusion of the season, basing his decision on an evaluation of the Chiefs progress and future? The obvious guess is that he will proceed with the latter, but one thing is for certain. If the Chiefs were to somehow win the Super Bowl, Vermeil would walk away (or cry himself to death) shortly after the victory celebration.

This site was created for many reasons, not of which the least was for my own personal amusement. KCFORUM.NET is a very amusing site full of tons of insightful (and not so insightful) thoughts and information pertaining to Kansas City sports and Kansas City sports talk radio.

On The Royals

I believe the Royals already have everything in place that they will need to stay on top in the A.L. Central. The addition of Leskanic has immediately improved a sloppy bullpen. The big question in everyone's mind now is whether or not they need a big bat like Juan Gonzalez.

Frankly, this issue is debatable. Kansas City's lineup clearly lacks the presence of what I like to call a "Fat Bat". Juan-Gone is an obvious choice, but begs the conditions:

Only if the trade is "right"
Will Juan disrupt the Royals awesome team chemistry?

For the former, let's realize that the Expos almost had Gonzo for 3 minor league players until he vetoed the trade. It shouldn't take too much to get him. The Rangers have a strong desire to move him, and it would NOT require moving Carlos Beltran to get him. If Allard Baird doesn't have to trade any of what he considers his five star prospects, he will strongly consider making the trade to acquire Juan-Gone's Fat Bat.

As for Juan's cry-baby, egotistical attitude disrupting the Royals' team chemistry - something like this is always a possibility no matter what the trade. This is the chance you take in making a late-July push to qualify for the playoffs. I figure if the trade feels right, Baird will take a look at the ethnic commonalities of manager Tony Pena, Carlos Beltran, Mendy Lopez, and Raul Ibanez and realize that his chances of being successful due to this trade are far greater than the possibility of it blowing up in his face.

Juan-Gone has some playoff experience that could prove helpful as well. Granted, all of his post-season experience has been unsuccessful, but you'd think that would make him want to win even more. In the long run, I wouldn't be surprised if Juan came to Kansas City and amazed us with his attitude, hardwork, and success.

To summarize, I have no problems with the Kansas City Royals standing pat. If they do acquire Juan Gonzales in the right deal, I have no problems with this either. Moving Carlos Beltran right now is a different story that I will not get into at this time.

The bottom line? You have to take some risks to be successful. When those risks fail, you are criticized. When they are successful, you are a hero. That's just the way of the world.

KCFORUM.NET Quotable Quotes

...Renshaw's show is high schoolish at best…bigsexy
W - Now that’s the pot calling the kettle black if I ever heard it. Wait a minute? Shouldn’t The Freak be “the pot”?


They were released from their contracts three or four weeks ago when they resigned. Don't believe the hype about them being under contract... They're restricted by their non-compete clauses. That's it. Grunny off the shelf in about three months. Maas off the shelf in five months...bigsexy
W - This sounds mysteriously to me as though they’re “still under contract”.


W - I’m anxious to see how JW enjoys being Maas’ bitch on this new show. I think BobbyD said it best:
JW, at least realize that you can not be non-partial in this type of discussion. If you were to go alone head to head with Renshaw he'd get the ratings ... in any market. AND FYI, if I do end up listening to your new show, it will be because of Maas. Do me a favor and publicize what days Maas will not be on the air with you so I know not to even bother. Futhermore Whit, on the new show you will basically be the ugly friend that every hot chick seems to have. Yeah, the ugly one gets attention, but it's an avenue to get to the hottie…BobbyD

At least the Terrapins and Dolphins are sports teams. Last I checked, your colossal bowel movements haven't taken the field...Phat Endy

I'm actually excited to hear what Whitlock puts out, but I'm very put off when a company tries to make themselves better by talking down about another...just seems very cheap and makes both sides look bad...stand on your own feet and don't stoop to putting down the competition to make yourself look/feel better....if your product is good, you don't need to point out somebody else is worse…KCPowercat
W - And this would be possible if Pork Chop spent more time show-prepping and writing and spent less time hanging out at kcforum.net

And if you weren't so bent on garnering ratings through demeaning women, pretending to be a member of a 'hood, gleaning maximum financial benefit out of the color of your skin, and employing the Race Card whenever you've exhausted your fuel supply...it wouldn't be so easy to hate you…Soylent Green

The Freak Show and the new Crunch Time are total garbage. They're high schoolish. I'm not trying to tear them down. I'm a consumer right now, just like the rest of you. I wake up and try to hear an entertaining sports talk show and all we get is high school grabass radio about who Ivan Carter is sleeping with...bigsexy
W - Finally, the tables have turned and Pork Chop understands what it was like to wake up listening to his boring, half-asleep fat ass.

I'm a little confused JW. When 810 shut down the board, yuou came on here and told us that we were too small a percentage of people for the station to give a fug if we were pissed off or not. You also informed us that the opinion of your show not being entertaining and/or sports related enough was a simple matter of bitterness and that once again we were in the minority. Based on all of that, why have you been on this board soooo much since you quit whb and seem to be soliciting the listenership of this board? I though we were just a small bitter group that didn't matter. Would you care to clarify this for us?...JayhawkChris
W - He makes a good point. Let me help with the answer. PC knows that regardless of whether or not we like him, the chances of us listening to his new show are good, for whatever reason. If he gets on kcforum.net and gets us worked up, talks to us, etc., he knows it will help intrigue more and more people to listen to the new show, even if it’s just to hear what stupid thing he says next.

Chop was as lame on TV as he is in radio and print and I noticed that he is indescribably HUGE! I mean, I had to switch over to ESPN2 to see the rest of him. Unbelievable. I never heard a word any of those guys said because I was amazed that they somehow stuffed Chop and his bad suit into that little chair…Hot Carl

I think they film him somewhere else, digitally shrink him to fit the frame, and then place him alongside the other reporters. Damn, Sweats has more chins than a Chinese phone book!…Hot Carl

But Whit's obviously never heard the old saying "If that's not the pot calling the kettle"... oops, I don't want to give him the opportunity to play the card again. Forget I said anything…Hot Carl

W - Hot Carl went on a roll with those last three quotes - I couldn't resist. It is also very important to me to give credit where credit is due. Hawkchief was the person who coined the nickname of "Sweatlock" when referring to JW. It really stuck in my mind the first time he used it, and I have been "borrowing" it ever since. Thanks, HC! So far, all of the above was about Sweatlock. Be patient and variety shall follow, my fellow KC-ians.



Is the Media and MLB Overreacting to the Simon-Sausage Incident?

Was it necessary for Randall Simon to be arrested? Was it necessary for him to be suspended for 3 games? Was Simon trying to hurt the sausage? Would he have taken a swing at the sausage if she wasn't wearing the sausage costume with the 6 foot tall head?

This whole incident has been blown out of proportion. When I first heard about it, sports radio made it sound like Simon had taken after the sausage like the LAPD took after Rodney King. Upon watching the tape, I was not surprised to see that I had once again become the product of media "sensationalism".

Granted, what Simon did was stupid. A brain fart. I understand why he was arrested and even understand why he was suspended. I don't necessarily agree with it, though. Three games? Heavens!


Kobe Bryant's Alleged Innocence

Granted, I won't sit here and call him "guilty". By law he is innocent until proven guilty. But my initial reaction upon hearing about the charges was - I'm surprised it's taken this long for him to get into trouble.

The media is currently calling Bryant "one of the good guys of the NBA". Funny thing, I never heard that about him until this alleged incident became public. Let's be honest, Kobe Bryant came into the NBA as a child, and although he has matured into one of the league's best players, he is still a very young, wealthy, spoiled brat. Famous people like this expect to get what they want when they want it - all the time. This is why I am not surprised to hear about the alleged incident. Time will tell, and even then...?