WESTY'S BESTIES

I would like to apologize to my three readers for the update delay. I am very busy at this time of year with my real job (you know, the one that friggin' pays me). I don't have any quotes at this time because I haven't spent much time in the forum. What I do have are some responses to the latest sports topics and other thingies.

Bill Callahan, Head Coach at the University of Nebraska - My first thought was to create the KCFORUM thread entitled "Bill Callahan? What the fug?" I admit, I might've overreacted a little. There's always the possibility that Callahan will produce a far better track record in NCAA football than he did in the NFL. But let's be honest, people...he was a boob of an NFL coach.

Royals Home Opener - Sadly, it looks as though I will not be attending this year's event. The story of explanation is long, so let's just say I can't commit right now, but I wish I could.

KK and BTL Report - Here's the deal, peoples. I have had almost zero time to listen to my favorite-person-in-KC-to-bitch-about. Thanks to hawkchief, I have a clue as to what is going on. Two things: First, I nominate hawkchief, who has no life, to be the official KK correspondent on my forthcoming internet radio show. Second, it seems things have slowed down for hawkchief and Hot Carl at the office. I know I owe them. Lunch on me in February, fellas!

Other Critiques - It's exciting to see the way other posters are critiquing KC's sports media personalities, ie frankentiger vs. JoePo, KC Paul or Stugats vs Greg Hall, etc. I'm starting to wonder if I should just start a website and have other people write stuff...not just me. Hmmmm....

Westy's Radio Show - I'm not really sure what I should do with this entity. I haven't received much feedback. The only real criticism I have had is "get other people/guests on with you from the forum." Well, the good thing is, I now have that capability of pre-recording a show without making the guest-schmucks come to my house. Quick! Someone setup a Friday or Saturday bar get-together in February...just don't make it February 13th because I have to attend the Glen Campbell concert at Ameristar Casino. Seriously. See you there!

I will be on the road for the "real job" from January 15th thru February 2nd. If anything is going on, if you have questions or needs, please email me or u2u me. Thanks for all of your support. I am looking forward to a full year at KCFORUM.NET in 2004!

WESTMAR'S BEST OF 2003 AT KCFORUM.NET
It's been a wild ride in 2003 for those of us at the forum. Heck, I didn't even join the fun until July. But some of the fellas helped get things going for my site immediately. Check it out!

Westmar on his site (7/11/03) - "Granted, I won't sit here and call him 'guilty'. By law he is innocent until PROVEN guilty. But my initial reaction upon hearing about the charges was - I'm surprised it's taken this long for him to get into trouble.

The media is currently calling Bryant 'one of the good guys of the NBA'. Funny thing, I never heard that about him until this alleged incident became public. Let's be honest, Kobe Bryant came into the NBA as a child, and although he has matured into one of the league's best players, he is still a very young, wealthy, spoiled brat. Famous people like this expect to get what they want when they want it - all the time. This is why I am not surprised to hear about the alleged incident. Time will tell, and even then...?"

ChicagoJeff at KCFORUM - "West..not bad..but dude..leave the NBA alone..like 96% of the people in this city the NBA is a foreign concept that you simply don't get..your take on Kobe rivaled on The Star's Ivan carter for NBA ineptitude..None of what you said nor implied on Kobe is anything close to what ANYBODY else had said publicly or to me about dude.."

Westmar at KCFORUM: "Thank you for the constructive criticism, ChicagoJeff. For the record, I read nothing written by Ivan Carter in the KC Star pertaining to Kobe Bryant. What i wrote reflects my personal opinion of rich, bratty star athletes. I don't believe one needs to know a lot about the NBA to have an opinion on the Kobe Bryant allegations. I would assume that since you stated that what I wrote and implied is NOTHING like what anybody else has said or wrote...uh...that's a good thing, right? Sounds to me like it might be something new for people to read and think about - but I could be wrong."

ChicagoJeff at KCFORUM - "West anybody can pull anythign out of thier asshole at any time and plop it up..I would never write about pro soccer because although i know the names of a few teams I don't watch it.. and don't follow it and don't know the history.. You write on Kobe and you stated "that you know rich spolied bratty athletes".. dude gettin blown off for an autograph by otis Taylor 18 yrs ago doesn't qualify you to write on all athletes..that makes the very lazy assumption that all one people are merely alike.. If I were to believe that silly shit then might I assume that Jaychris is a cold heartless bastard because he's a repub.. having known and drank withhim.. that would be a WRONG assumption..The internet is beautiful. anyone can plop themselves up as miniature Randolph hearsts and write whatever moves their bowels.. I however don't think thats a great thing if you're writing with no knowledge of your subject and no analytical skills. Have you talked to a cop about the kobe situation.. Have a love one who's a lawyer and /or prosecutor? No.. you're pulling dingleberries out of your ass attempting to be irreverent.. dude thats a waste of cyberspace..."

Hot Carl at KCFORUM - "Westmar's not reporting, he's commenting. Much like Whitlock is not a reporter. Westmar is there to share his view. Whether or not you agree with it is your own business but if he thinks Kobe is a rich, spoiled brat that's his business and he can put it on his site. I like to see your statements of disagreement because it fosters some good discussion here but don't knock Westmar for putting his thoughts in a public forum. Just knock his thoughts."

Hawkchief at KCFORUM - "Westmar's assumption may be right, may be wrong, but he is not reporting anything as fact. Most of the time, where there is smoke, there is fire. Give the guy a break. He is the freeking Member of the Day."

And thus, my site was born. I'd like to extend a strong handshake to ChicagoJeff (in Hot-lanta), Hot Carl, and hawkchief for helping me get things off the ground with some discussion.


OTHER CREATIONS AND THOUGHTS FROM 2003:

*Hawkchief coins the phrase "Sweatlock" as a nickname for Jason Whitlock.

*Paintman is the first to call me "Westy".

*Hot Carl is granted his own forum.

*CDUBB lost his job in July and disappeared from the forum until winter. He returned with a new job and a new-found love for posting.

*Whitlock and Woody (DA STICK) continued to take out their frustrations on one another at KCFORUM.

*Whitlock became very bored during his absence from the radio and spent a lot of time in our Terror Dome talking smack about WHB, Kietzman, and Greg Hall.

*Not that it was much of a prediction, but I wrote a piece on my site in July titled "Kansas City Chiefs - Playoff Bound in 2003."

*And who could forget about the "art experimentations" at KCFORUM.NET. Some were short-lived; others just might stand the test of time. Thanks, O&A and Paint!


TOP QUOTES OF 2003 (If you didn't make the cut, I'm sorry...but you'll get over it.)

"Chop was as lame on TV as he is in radio and print and I noticed that he is indescribably HUGE! I mean, I had to switch over to ESPN2 to see the rest of him. Unbelievable. I never heard a word any of those guys said because I was amazed that they somehow stuffed Chop and his bad suit into that little chair." - Hot Carl

"Kobe will soon be playing a rousing game of pick-up-sticks with his butt cheeks. And when he is done with that he will be playing that classic 'Sniffin farts out of old prison mattresses'" - CDUBB

"Rhetorical question: Is it still called a shocker if HawksChief puts 3 fingers in his own azz?" - Original Stonie

"Fellas, have a good night. I'm going to go put the wood to the wife" - Hot Carl

"I never liked (Jeff) Montgomery. I was ecstatic the day he got that 300th save, because I knew he would finally go away." - HuskerBen

"You know guys...Whitlock's big ego really seemed to overtake him after he won it all on American Idol, don't you think?" - westmar

"The only 'MU sources' Jack Harry has are the voices from the little squirrels running around in his head. His sources are as fake as his 'fake laugh'!!" - Colonel Klink

"Dear KCForum.net Administrators, I saw where you just had over 80 people looking/listening at one time. How do you do it? Sincerely, 1340AM" - Bubba Clyde

"I can't believe I just used coming and mouth in the same sentence when asking a man a question." - CDUBB

"I don't think KK got pulled over. You can't get pulled over when the car is in park." - hawkchief

"Is anyone here planning on going anywhere to watch the game tonight? I know it doesn't look to be much of an excitement...but anything can be made better with beer. Just ask Tudge's lovers." - comedygal

"One of the Benefits of Clinkscale having his head so deep in KK's azz is that Clinkscale's mullet will give Kevin the fiber he's lacking." - dafella

"...it's fuggin nuts in my custards..." - ChicagoJeff

"If a columnist writes for Platte County, does anyone read it?"- Karupt

"Yeah, I once got it on with .31 of a hooker. Don't worry, I got the right .31. Back to back weeks in Westmar's column here I come." - O&A Army

"Bigsexy, you need to drink more, gout is afraid of booze. I can tell you that first hand since I have never had it." - *Tudge*

"Paint, can we add a button for donations at the top of the forum so that O&A never has to get a job?" - Phat Endy

"(The 'Between The Lines' theme music) certainly needs to be updated. But then, so does the host." - Hot Carl

"Unless there is a 'happy ending', I want no part of a day spa." - pell

"Is that the same stuff (bigsexy butter) that ends up on girls dresses?" - combine_billy

"And I'm really kidding about getting it tonite. I don't even know this guy or his middle name, so there's no way his rattler will see my sacred space that quick." - just mary

"I remember when you "experimented with different formats" in college. You had to sit on a donut for two weeks!" - Original Stonie

"Man, O&A, what a heartfelt response. By the end of your post, I thought you opened the Naked Celeb thread to stop world hunger!" - KC Mouth

"Illegal Proceedure on the offense...*Tudging*...5-yard penalty...repeat first down." - Bubba Clyde

"Man, I thought for sure the title to this thread was 'forum happy hour/make-OUT session'. I was scared sh!tless for a second." - FrankWhite4Ever

"(Combine) Billy is lazy. That's why he has so many tractors. A real go getter would pull all that stuff by hand." - Mr. PITA

"He (neighbor) has a nativity scene that, due to some unidentified hooligans, has consistently lost some of its original members. Instead of buying replacements, he has substituted items from his rather large collection of plastic figures. Highlights include a snowman wiseman, Santa Claus as Joseph, and about 3 Reindeer hanging in the manger with JC." - pooboy

"As I look back on my first 999 posts, I have to wonder...How the hell am I still employed?" - CDUBB

"Get in the Christmas spirit. Stab them with your 'Yule log'" - Twisted Steel

"I'm appropriately moist, thank you."- just mary

"I'm pretty much afraid of most of you, but since you know what I look like, I pose no threat. Just wait 'til the plastic surgery is complete." - Soylent Green

"I fell asleep at 7-0 and had this dream that I was back in HS plauing football in Purple Uniforms (funny because I didn't play football in HS) and we beat Oklahoma. I would care that this made no sense but I am not really typing this and am still dreaming." - O&A Army

"If KSU pulls this off, H2K will have an orgasm on air. Hopefully someone will give him the reach around." - Mama

"I'm trying to get the venture capital together to produce an "Iraq Gone Wild" video to celebrate Hussein's capture. It will contain explicit footage of hot Baghdad sluts baring their ankles, lifting their face veils to expose a full square inch of flesh. And eating pork chops. Who's in?" - Footys

"What if JimBob and stick were cloned together...Da HeADgoat BUSH AIN'T won a DAMM THing. iRAQ DON'T couNT. unTIL he WINS DA BIG one, he aiN'T SHiot. i been TellIN All of YOU how HE'S been BLOWin TAlent. but usa FAN is SAtisfied with VICtories over IRAQ while osama is RELOADIN! peice out." - buckybadgersbrother

"I don't think (Leawood) John was around since you know who (I am afraid he is like beetlejuice and will come back if we say his name too much) has been here." - O&A Army

"Poop expert...hmmmm, sounds like a shitty job to me."- CDUBB

"KK - 'Mr. Shanahan?'

Shan - 'Yeah, kid. I'll take a whiskey and water.'

KK - 'I don't think you understand. I'm Kevin Kietzman.'

Shan - (pulls out a dollar bill and puts it in KK's hand) 'There ya go, kid. Buy yourself

something nice. Now how 'bout that whiskey and water?'" - westmar

"Caller: 'Hey George, just wanna tell ya, I love you. You meant more to me than anyone else when I was growing up. I was there in '82 and waved to you one the on deck circle. You spit right in my direction, so I know you remember me. The station is great and you are a great addition. I'll listen to your comments off air.'

GB: 'Thanks again, Kevin, but can't you wait until your show airs to tell that story, I
wanna talk about Lima's outing last night.'" - JayhawkChris

"There once was a guy named Willie
Wrote little songs that were silly
He upset a host
Now he can post
But his calls are thrown in the nilly" - Mr. PITA

"There once was this poster named Triplow
Whose real name we all knew it was Joe
He said he works Ford
And not the control board
He's not even fooling Todd Leabo." - westmar

Honorable Mention: frankentiger, catkins, Stromyle, JB, Paintman, packer backer, Stugats, BobbyD, bwoods, Intense one, KCPowercat, A-Train, AusSteveW, PeteRose, MC86, KC Paul, lawgeek, Leawood John, tonyloser, Homebrewer Dan, Cardinal Ry, God, Inc., Master P, BrooksideJoe, The Sin Sister, I-Hawk, Billie Jean, Moe Szyslak.


STUPID PREDICTIONS FROM GREG HALL IN 2003
While it's easy to laugh at people's predictions after the fact, please keep in mind that I made fun of nearly all of these predictions during the year when they were first written by Hall. The proof is in the archives on your right.

GH: "I bet the lefty (Jeremy Affeldt) starts at least two games in September."
Westy '04: Hall said this in August because he felt that the Royals move of Affeldt to the pen was a waste. He figured they would be forced to have Affeldt make starts in September due to injuries to Appier and Lima. Needless to say, Affeldt did not make another start the rest of the season.

GH: "Petro looks to be headed to Dallas for a job that pays one-third of what he was making at KMBZ."
Westy '04: Oh really?

GH: "Nebraska's Jammal Lord is pretty good on foot as well."
Westy '04: Yeah. He's fantastic. (sarcasm)

GH: "Is Nebraska back? Not entirely. The offense smells just as bad as it did in 2002. They look good enough to win eight games which should keep Solich around for another year."
Westy '04: Whoops.

GH: "Kansas should beat Colorado, Baylor, A&M and Iowa State. That’s eight wins."
Westy '04: In Greg's defense, it's not his fault B-Whitt got hurt.

GH: "It appears the Chiefs will be the only AFC West team to finish with a winning record."
Westy '04: Now we see what happens when we make silly predictions in late October.

GH: "My top candidate (for the Nebraska job)? The never-was-Bama coach Mike Price. In my opinion, he didn't do anything in that Florida hotel room that Bob Devaney didn't do in his office. The guy can coach and after his public embarrassment, he would be a model citizen in Lincoln...I think."
Westy '04: Yeah. The rumors about Mike Price coming to Lincoln are getting out of control. (smirk)

GH: "Not only will (Dante) Hall run back more kicks this season, he'll run two back in one game before the whistle blows on the 2003 campaign."
Westy '04: Probably the most preposterous of all of them...written by Greg the week of November 3rd. FYI - Dante didn't run anymore back after this point in the season.


And now...summing up the year 2003 for us in one breath, I present to you...Hot Carl:

"Pretty soon Soylent will be here calling you a racist for some unknown reason. Then he'll get accused of being Greg Hall, then I'll have to drop a porn 'stache comment, then O&A will brag about a sexual encounter, then Paint will have to threaten to remove all "art", then Sin Sister will get drooled on by all the true internet nerds who peruse this board, then Whitlock will tell us that Renshaw is about to get fired, then Train will threaten to kick KCPaula's azz, then Beavis will scare everyone before they figure out he's a cool dude, then Pell will drop a post about a band nobody has ever heard of, then Westy will pimp some bizarre, unknown site he's "working" for, then Stugats will profess his love for gay wrestling, then Leabonics will cryptically say that "nobody got arrested", then Tudge or Karupt or someone will say "stay on topic", then Stick will post something that takes me a long time to decipher because I'm REALLY white, then Billy will beg for some sort of government subsidy, then Hipity will post something about some team he calls "The Wiz", then Billie Jean will say, "Hey, I played the Scarecrow in that horrible movie", then one of the Powercat guys will defend KSU's non-con schedule, then Willie will pull his hood on and launch a racial blast at you in iambic pentameter, then WarDrive will pretend he's not KK, then Analog Kid will call Sidecar Willie a butt-munch, then Klink or some other Mizzou fan will catch smack because MU has never been to a final 4 and KU has a zillion times, then buckybadger will post something that only he understands and then Stonie will arrive, call everyone a turd burglar and threaten to kick your azz. Now you don't want that to happen do you?"

Happy New Year to my friends at KCFORUM! I'll see you in 2004!

Westy