The Forum sure has been "interesting" lately, hasn't it? I sometimes feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone. Blue Lou Boyle's post total is a negative number, someone has signed up as Drunky McDrunk, and jpg1 thinks 100 posts is a big deal.

Needless to say, the big announcement of the update is the retirement of the KCFORUM.net Poster Power Rankings. I'd like to thank HuskerBen for helping me come up with the idea, but I just don't feel it's working very well.

By the way, in case some of you have yet to discover it, I have a special sound clip website where you can hear some various audio clips from a Royals game outing with Twisted Steel, Hot Carl, CDUBB, catkins, hawkchief, Tito Man Tito, and myself. Check it out at http://westmar3.tripod.com


Westmar's Best Of KCFORUM.net - 35th Edition

"LJ is apparently not a man of his word. I guess he just flip flopped out of his retirement. kind of reminds me of a little kid holding his breath." - jdub
W: Even when we tell LJ he's not allowed to retire and still breathe through his nose, he continues to do so. 

"This has to be the first time Catkins has ever suggested that someone refuse something shaped like a banana. Next he is going to be disappointed when he finds the condom at the bottom of the mayo jar." - Karupt
W: Ok. So the catkins "gay" jokes are over now...right? You hear that jpg1?!?

"I enjoy a lot of your (Soylent Green's) posts, but the ones I really like are the ones you never make." - Blue Lou Boyle
W: Call me weird, but I'm terribly disappointed in the person who screwed up Blue Lou's post totals. I was honestly very interested to see if he could pass pell by Halloween. Now we'll never know. That's...unfortunate. I'll say no more. 

"I was rounding 3rd last night on my way to score and I thought I was going to die. What fuggin moron coach put a faster player behind me in the line-up?" - BobbyD
W: Now this was funny. Granted, he posted it in the thread about The Mule witnessing a man having a fatal heart attack at his softball game, but...it was still a nice tension breaker, in my opinion.

"I'll freely admit to my complete and utter lack of hipness, but what exactly is my gill, and why do I need to guard it?" - Rancho Relaxo
W: I think we later decided that this is actually a reference to a Kevin Costner disaster titled "Waterworld".

"Twisted get in here and straighten out your sportsnut." - chiefsfarmteam
W: Does every man have a sportsnut. If so, can someone tell me where it's located?

"The old O&A would share some memories. The new O&A doesn't see the point." - O&A Army
W: Oklahoma City has apparently changed KCFORUM's version of Larry
Flynt. I have to go there two times in the next two months. Wish
me luck. If I come back talking about " the old westmar" and " the
new westmar," please have Stonie kick my ass.  

"You (trevortime) are a woman? Sweet! Can you teach me how to be a lesbian? Please?" - catkins
W: Stop! Trevortime!

"With Sin Sister hit or miss, it's good to have a resident dick tease on a consistent basis. Welcome aboard Trevor!" - Battle Cat
W: Doh!

"If some exceptions apply then bmanpoo is your guy. I hate to send a cyclist in to do a man's work but bmanpoo is the coolest non-married dude I know." - Hot Carl

"He's (bmanpoo) really only 26, but he rides his bike in sandstorms." - Real Stonie

"This isn't going to turn into a Wizard of Oz reunion is it?" - Twisted Steel
W: Poor Hoosier Dan. Since I haven't met him, I often wonder if he deserves the crap he receives.

"Revelations 18:23 says something like 'In the end times Newbies will have hundreds of posts, Twisted Steel will outpace pell and O&A will make a post that Catkins hates and Stonie likes.' It may be time to get right with God." - O&A Army
W: Check the exposure...something's wrong with this picture.

"I went to Worlds of Fun, said Fiber's dad sent me and I got in free. Course they were only open for an hour, so we had to run really fast to get on all the rides. But I argued with the ring-toss guy and got a free prize!" - frankentiger

"All I can say is the only time I've masturbated while driving is through Iowa." - Blue Lou Boyle
W: Iowa really is THAT beautiful, isn't it?

"My brother-in-law lives in Olathe and there are midget twins (!) who live next door to him. In fact, the first time I saw them they went whizzing past us on their bikes and when I bolted to the deck to get a better view of them I ran right through his screen door. Midgets freak me out." - Hot Carl

"Damn, how did I forget about Jerry Lewis?! I want to add him to my dead pool list!" - pell
W: He's still alive? (FYI...when I say "he" I'm referring to Jerry Lewis, not pell.)

"If my dogs puke the only way it's not going to be there when I get home is if the younger one eats it. My wife would leave it there for a week if that's how long I was going to be gone." - Footys
W: This sounds disturbingly familiar.

"WHOA! I just recalled a dream I had last night. I was a fake photographer and somehow I got a gig for Annie Lennox to come to my house for a photo shoot. She showed up in huge sunglasses and jean shorts. Instead of taking pictures of her, she took several thousand photos of me. As she drove off there was a huge picture of me on her tour bus. What does this mean?" -Real Stonie
W: It means you should start taking your film to faster developing
establishments.

"Westmar...I would like to politely ask to be left off of all future power rankings on your update site. Being #1 has caused a severe back lash of jealousy and resentment from some of our fellow posters. I am just here to post and have fun and help pass the time at work, not get into pissing matches with people who resent me and are threatened by me because of some meaningless ranking. I just want to post freely without the constant problems that comes with being ranked #1." - CDUBB
W: This, my friends, happens to be a mere coincidence.

"I swear to God I just nearly blew Rolaid chew out of my nose." - Hoosier Dan

"Hell, it's a race now to see if I can hit the top spot before the Chiefs make the Colts punt...just once!!!" - Sully75

"Yes, but moving forward does mean a lot. I just printed off this week's standings (Poster Power Rankings) and am having my wife put it in my kcforum scrapbook." - Karupt

"Sheri is a cutie. I wonder if she has any nude pics up anywhere to show her carpet matches the drapes." - HuskerBen

"Does anyone else get a picture in their mind of Hipity eventually chained up in BLB's basement wearing a leather mask with chicken feathers poking outta his ass. A soccer ball positioned 4 feet away from him with a three foot length of chain secured to a studded dog collar around his neck and eventually choking himself to death as he insistently tries to bend it like Beckham?" - JayhawkChris

"ANYONE who would grope CDUBB's junk in front of anyone has SEVERE EMOTIONAL problems!" - Real Stonie

"...last night, I offered to show her my 'gavel'. She sustained her own objection to that one. Keep in mind though that this is the same women who, after I adopted Pell's BRILLIANT strategy of tying a bow around my equipment and presenting it to my wife for Christmas, said, 'can I return it?'" - lawgeek
W: I don't even know how to respond to this. Hang in there, lawgeek! It'll get better. That's what they tell me, anyway.

"Nick, Nick, Nick (NickOrange). You're a sweet kid, don't ever change. You see, this forum IS a big deal. I made $45,000.00 last month from endorsement deals with Coke, Hardy Gal Big & Tall Stores and Milwaukee's Best. That's alot of money for a guy like me. For some of us, this is the way we make our living. Do you honestly believe that I have a job? That's a joke man! I live in my parents downstairs apartment that I rent for $250 a month. People have DIED so that we can post in freedom! Don't take it for granted! VOTE!...errr...whatever." -catkins
W: What catkins meant to say was: "VOTE 'YES' FOR THE SPRINT CENTER, YOU JINGLE-ASSES!!"

"Isn't Roger Clemons that guy on the Mizzou basketball team who hurt himself on the ATV and kidnapped his girlfriend and got kicked off the team? I didn't know he played baseball too." - Maxtastic

"The same conversation actually does take place at Greg Hall's house where he named his column after something his career never did get 'Off the Couch'." - Karupt
W: It's a little known fact that Greg Hall's first column at the Platte County Landmark was accidentally called "Off the Coach". 

"LJ is the Einstein of the politcal thread. He's a drive-by ass clown." - Battle Cat
W: This didn't make a lick of sense. But Battle Cat's just so cute and cuddly...how can I NOT quote him every once in awhile? Holy crap! I quoted him TWICE in this update! You see, KC Paul? If you were cute and cuddly... 

"I went to the Missouri Driver's License Bureau and said 'Grunny sent me'! They suspended my license." - Colonel Klink

"We had a plumber come to our store and said that CDUBB sent him. Turns out CDUBB had been here earlier. We really DID need him." - Twisted Steel

"Dude, you're obviously not married. I am already married to one woman who: (1) complains; (2) spends money; and (3) doesn't sleep with me. Why in the hell would I want another?" -lawgeek
W: Note to self...lawgeek makes good points out of court, as well.

"My 4-year old daughter had to pee really bad Sat. night so I held her in a parking lot by the car so she could go. Next thing I know, she says, 'now I'm going to poop, Mom.' I thought for sure she was going to sh*t on my feet! Needless to say, we hurried inside." - KCsportsnut
W: I think KCsportsnut is coming around, slowly but surely. She actually holds her own BETTER on the telephone than in The Forum. But she does do a pretty good job of putting that Twisted Steel guy in his place.

Another crazy week that ended with a Royals game on Friday night with some of my crazy forum brethren. It was also a very difficult week for figuring out the Poster Power Rankings. Besides the fact that I feel horrible for dropping Phat Endy back another spot, you'll have to listen to the sound clip (below) to understand how CDUBB ended up where he did. The poor guy took a beating from us all night long before, during, and after the Royals game. DUBB attended the event with his family, and we must've called him a half dozen times. The audio clip after the Poster Power Rankings (below) will give you an idea of what it was like for him. It contains footage of Catkins talking to CDUBB on my cell phone (while the rest of us stood around and laughed) as he and his family entered the parking lot. The poor guy. Sometimes guilt is factored in with the rankings. Thankfully, he was a good sport.  


Westmar's Best of KCFORUM.net - 34th Edition

"Am I hot, or is it drunk outside?" - gunfan
W: When Mrs. Westmar is pinching pennies and forcing me to live in an 82 degree house by refusing to turn the A.C. on, I have no choice but to stay sober. There's no way my body can handle being hot and dehydrated all night long. Maybe it's her last ditch effort to force me to sober up before being forced to send me to the Betty Ford Clinic.  
 
"Nobody's ever met him (HipityHop) and extensive research has never revealed him to be somebody's alter-ego. He seems to be a genuine idiot." - Hot Carl
W: All I know is, it was Hot Carl who pointed out Hipity's zaney posts to me last summer. Now, I'm not saying it's possible for HipityHop to be an alter ego of Hot Carl's. I mean, if it was true it would mean he has nearly 7,700 posts in a little over a year. Hmmm...  
 
"As for CDUBB shooting the lowest score, you must take into account the fact that he insisted on playing from the ladies tees with his dick tucked in between his legs. We told him that was unnecessary, but, like I said, he insisted." - Phat Endy
W: The only thing more entertaining than going to a Royals game with some of these jingle-asses would be attempting to golf with them. Oy!
 
"Endy, Funny ass avatar! Now take it down." - catkins
W: Endy's avatar is without a doubt the funniest I have ever seen. It can also be used as a good visual to go along with the audio clip, below.  

"I was here last nite, and you can bet I was drinking...I think I called Westy my friend or some silly ass shit like that." - HuskerBen
W: This is a man to man version of putting on the "beer goggles".

"You have just inspired massive blindness across the forum. Lenscrafters shoud send you a commission check." - Twisted Steel
W: I don't spend a lot of time on The Forum slobbering over Sin Sister. But even I must admit...the pics she recently posted of herself were rather stimulating. Why she allows The Forum to see every piece of her except for her face is beyond me.

"Sin, allow me to introduce myself...I'm ruined. Pleasure to make your acquaintance." -noConscience

"If Carl put some of those shots on a calendar I'd be happy to 'laminate' the pages" - tater
 
"Someone quick get the nurse!!! My penis just exploded!!!" - CDUBB  
 
"Gawd this place is becoming a freakin' internet encounter group! Somebody insult someone, bitch about something, or demean a species of animal. I'm feeling a little ill." - Soylent Green
 
"I guess the good news is that at least Tejada knows Pena won't pull himself until he gives up at least 10 HRs per round." - Sully75

 "Let's just call it like it is, we are all alkies...in fact some day I expect this will turn from a forum into an AA meeting." - HuskerBen
W: You mean it hasn't already?

"When the ambulance gets there keep calm. Remember, you are not being institutionalized for sure...it's only an evaluation." - alexilalas
W: Blue Lou's going to have to get used to comments like this if he's going to start drinking at 11 AM, throw down a case in 10 hours, and announce it to the entire site.

"Sometimes I wonder if I am one of three people who access this forum and the other two each have about twenty other user names." - Colonel Klink
W: You get that feeling, too, eh?

"Rumor has it that HawkChief was hiding under a tablecloth in the golf cart attempting to master the Fillipino language." - Real Stonie
W: Note to self...if I ever do go golfing with those guys...walk the course.
 
"Now I know how Barry Bonds feels. I am so good that my teammates hate me!" - CDUBB

"I love that my boss thinks that I am working my ass of right now."- Rockchalk
W: Hot Carl and hawkchief's famous last words.
 
"I can envision the day when the 'newbies' rise up and make the elders know what is what. I fear the day (will) come soon - lest someone should post the rules soon." - Blue Lou Boyle
 
"Bmanpoo and pell are both old fuggers. But only one of them dances around naked in Iowa with other men. Which one do you think it is?" - Hot Carl
W: This is one thing I can guarantee is not practiced on a regular basis in my home state.  
 
"It's too bad Brian Anderson wasn't invited to throw for the HR Derby. With NASA right in the back yard some valuable space research could have been conducted." - Intense one

"Actually, Stonie disabled your U2U feature because he was tired of you (NickOrange) asking for extra helpings of his love gravy." - Phat Endy
 
"I'll host a party with free beer. But I fear it will turn out just like that party I had in 6th grade, where no one came and the next day everyone made fun of me." - Blue Lou Boyle
W: Almost 400 posts in a little over a week? If BLB keeps his head in the bottle, he's going to pass pell before Halloween.
 
"Isn't this about the time in the Westmar Radio threads where Stromyle comes in & starts attacking Sullygal out of the blue?" - drunkard
W: And what was the deal with Stromyle last week?
 
"See you there, Stonie. I think I remember what you look like. Unless you've had breast reduction surgery since then." - Twisted Steel
 
"Careful BLB, when Hippity says he's bringing a gun, it's not what you think it means." - Phat Endy 
 
"My kid took a dump in his pool last night. Then he laughed his azz off." - Hot Carl
W: I could be wrong, but I think this might've happened during Hot Carl's "Fact Or Fiction" segment on "The Westmar (Radio) Show". My bad.   
 
"You know, it's things like this that cause me to question humanity and, therefore, democracy. Can a society that still permits the existence of REO Speedwagon be entrusted to choose its own leaders? I think not." - Rancho Relaxo
W: "Heard it from a friend who, heard it from a friend who..."
 
"I thought the nasty broad thread was disappointing. All those great stories and no chance of adding any new ones anytime soon. Unless I pull a Scott Peterson. Damn, that was bad, wasn't it?" - frankentiger
 
"I gotta go with Krispy Kreme, but for some reason whenever I eat more than 6, I always feel like shit. Same thing happens with Cocoa Krispies. Every time I've ever eaten 3 or more bowls in a single sitting, I puke." - Phat Endy
W: And this is one of the men who is in charge of ourcountry's youth...frightening, isn't it? 
 
"Burp gets 200 points for the name...Burp Lancaster...I'm laughing my ass off! Of course I'm booting black tar heroin at the same time so...whatever." - catkins

"By accurate do you mean in reporting the current/past weather or do you mean predicting the forecast? Cause at 10 pm they all do a hell of a job spending 4 minutes telling me how today's weather was and then spend 15 seconds on a wild ass guess for tomorrow." -BobbyD 
 
"Len Dawson once completed 16 consecutive passes not counting the ones to Karen Kornacki so I have to go with him." - Twisted Steel
W: I didn't know Dawson reported weather. They always say "sports with Len Dawson"...I guess this explains why it never sounds like he's reporting sports during his segment. All this time it's actually been the weather forecast. This explains everything!  
 
"Footys, don't have another kid. The second is always the exact opposite of the first. Schedule the vasectomy NOW!" - Hot Carl
W: Congratulations to Papa and Mama Footys for giving birth to Baby Footys. Although it caused Papa to take a little tumble in the rankings, I'm sure it was well worth it.  
 
"I wonder if she'll (Martha Stewart) turn a matress spring and a bic pen into a lovely arrangement of magnolias?" - Real Stonie 
 
"It's just that Stonie threatens to beat us up if we don't show
(at forum happy hours)" - pell 
 

KCFORUM POSTER POWER RANKINGS 
 
1. (1)  CDUBB
2. (2)  catkins
3. (4)  Hot Carl
4. (3)  Phat Endy
5. (6)  Karupt
6. (7)  Twisted Steel
7. (5)  Footys
8. (9)  Real Stonie
9. (10) pell
10.(11) bmanpoo
11.(12) frankentiger
12.(16) HuskerBen
13.(17) BobbyD
14.(13) WILDCAT NATION
15.(14) JayhawkChris
16.(8)  FrankWhite4Ever
17.(18) Intense one
18.(19) JB
19.(20) I-Hawk  
20.(21) Stugats
21.(22) Soylent Green
22.(23) kcjrbean1
23.(29) drunkard
24.(24) lawgeek
25.(26) Paintman
26.(32) Master P
27.(28) KCPowercat
28.(25) MC86
29.(30) Hoosier Dan
30.(31) Sully75  
31.(33) Battle Cat
32.(35) Colonel Klink
33.(34) NickOrange
34.(36) sullygal
35.(27) Bubba Clyde 
36.(39) kcsportsnut 
37.(37) kcburg
38.NEW  Blue Lou Boyle
39.NEW  noConscience
40.NEW  Husker Z
 
Drops: Leawood John, SBTB Queen, HartfordFan97

Debuts: Husker Z, noConscience, Blue Lou Boyle

Move of the week: tie...drunkard/Master P

Fall of the week: FrankWhite4Ever

Catkins and his call to CDUBB

 

 

It's been a crazy week at The Forum, hasn't it? On Thursday, it was discovered that The Pitch's Tony Ortega had mentioned KCFORUM.net and our own Battle Cat in an article about Michael Moore's "Fahrenheit 9/11" film. Battle Cat had written a review of the film in the Terror Dome a couple of weeks ago.

Unfortunately, Ortega painted a limited picture of KCFORUM and the Terror Dome for his readers. HuskerBen described it best:

"I mean, it (The Pitch article) really was fairly accurate in its depiction of the negative stuff that goes on around here. It didn't show the cool stuff that goes on around here. Gatherings, advice to people in need, networking to help each other out, friendships sewn and built here. He (Ortega) neglected those parts, but would he know about them? He isn't one of us. And any chance of him trying went away with him getting lambasted when the article came out...not that he could get accepted...he is a member of the media to never be trusted...but he could have at least tried to gain some respect from some of us."

It's unfortunate that Ortega portrayed KCFORUM in such a negative light and put his own twist on Battle Cat's opinion of the film by leaving the specifics of his review out of his Pitch article. The good news is, people can read Battle Cat's entire review at The Forum anytime.

And the strangest, most unfortunate thing that came from The Pitch mentioning KCFORUM? Battle Cat "retired" from The Forum later that day. He did not mention it in any post, he just did it. His last post was a two-word sentence with regards to the Big 12 ("sounds reasonable.") on 7/8 (the same day The Pitch article was recognized) at 3:54 PM. He signed off 4 minutes later, after changing his avatar to a "Retired" pic. He hasn't been active under the name "Battle Cat" since 3:58 PM on Thursday, 7/8. Many thanks to BJMIKE for pointing this out to me.

My guess is that this has happened for a couple of reasons. First of all, Battle Cat has been content, yet disappointed in the "board bitch" image that has recently been bestowed upon him. A good way to lose that image is to kill off Battle Cat and return under a new name, and never tell anyone that you used to be Battle Cat. Frankly, I can't blame him. A few name possibilities that have already registered include:

Dark Horse - registered 7/9, 0 posts.
W.AxlRose - registered 7/10, 1 two-word post of "I agree." and a mood of "bipolar".
Slater - registered 7/9. But I don't think this is Battle Cat.

It's also possible that Battle Cat decided to end his persona due to the somewhat negative light he was portrayed in by The Pitch article. Maybe he was receiving an abundance of rude u2u's on July 8th from the predominantly liberal Pitch readers. Maybe he and Ortega were going at it via u2u. All of this is speculation on my part. I am attempting to contact the person formerly known as "Battle Cat" to get the REAL story. Until then...

And then, of course, there was the Death/Blue Lou Boyle fiasco on Friday and Saturday. To make a long story short, this fellow joined us on Friday after learning about KCFORUM.net from Ortega's article. Thanks to Ortega's limited description of the Terror Dome, "Death" registered, posted, and was quickly banned for making unacceptable, racist comments. He returned as "Blue Lou Boyle" shortly thereafter. We couldn't confirm for certain that he was the same person until he came on The Forum this morning(Sunday) and apologized for his actions. You can check it all out in the Terror Dome, if you so choose.

There will be no Poster Power Rankings this week. I do still plan to do another LIVE radio show this coming Thursday night, the 15th. Tentative start time is 6:30 PM. Keep your eyes on the Terror Dome for more information later this week.

Finally, be sure to check out the audio clip at the very end of today's update. This is the drunken voicemail that Hot Carl and CDUBB left for me on the night of "Bmanpoo's Boulevard Brew" get-together last Thursday night, July 1st. Some of you might recall me mentioning this voicemail during my radio show on the 2nd. Well, I didn't have a chance to get it edited and censored until now. It's a slightly outdated, but I guarantee it will leave most of you with one final thought for the day: Booze really does kill brain cells.

And how 'bout that NickOrange? Now there's a newbie who can handle the hazing!


Westmar's Best Of KCFORUM.net - 33rd Edition


"Pleasing us is like pissing with a hard on." - Karupt
W: God, how I hate having to do that.

"Just fyi, I did privately enjoy them before putting them out in public. Before I post pics like that I have to make sure they were good enough to jack off to. Sure enough, they were. One of these days I will have to clean off all the cum stains on my monitor." - combine_billy
W: I hesitated to use this quote. I don't believe I've ever allowed the word "cum" into a Best Of quote. After about thirty seconds of thought, I decided...ah, what the hell? This site will never get mentioned in Greg Hall's Off The Couch column if I keep acting like Greg Brady.

"I swear to God, KC Paul is dummer than a bag full of hammers..." - catkins

"Slut preachers. Got to love it." - Stromyle
W: This was a surprise comment coming from Stro. Wait a minute...no it wasn't.

"No wonder she got caught. You're a teenage boy and you hit that? You HAVE to tell at least 25 buddies." - KCKariya
W: I don't know about you, but for through thirteen years of public school and four years of college, I never ONCE had a teacher who looked like that.

"I heard Bill Clinton called the kid and to name him the very first winner of the Platinum Cigar Award. Word out is The Bill followed that call with a call to the fiancee/husband asking if he could have next." - BobbyD

"Was the beer really free if you wake up with a bad hangover?" - kcburg
W: In my opinion, the answer to this is "no". Sully75 tried to play it off as still being worth it, but I beg to differ.

"Once again, I survived another Independence Day and walked away with all my digits. This year keeping the digits was even a higher priority in effort to continue my way up the Westy Best Of list. BBB would be proud, I didn't drive home drunk last night...instead I drove my date home and stayed there. She's got a magnificant pooper...in fact my head was in it half of the night." - BobbyD

"The Pitch? Never heard of it." - Omar

"All the great writers use message boards to write their stories." - KCPowercat
W: Wait a minute. Was this a dig at ME?

"...the liberal side (of KCFORUM) will average out the conservatives in no time. Time to get the straight jacket for Karupt." - Twisted Steel

"Yeah now that we (KCFORUM) have been mentioned in The Pitch this place will become a gay hook up chat room." - CDUBB
W: Instead, there was an influx of rednecks. Of course, we later found out that it was all an act, ala Death/Blue Lou.

"This buttplug needs to get in here and defend himself. I find the Terror Dome a place to go and have meditation, thoughts of peace and tranquility, and exchange advice about treating women with respect and sensitivity." - HuskerBen

"I don't understand where he (Tony Ortega) got that whole pack mentality thing from. I certainly see no evidence of it." - JayhawkChris
W: Sarcasm, people.

"If writers like Ortega got jobs that actually paid them money, we wouldn't need Democrats to write welfare legislation...I guarantee you the 4 readers of The Pitch on this board are Catkins, Alexilalas, Hipity and Bmanpoo. We can cut their KCFORUM.net readership by 25% by killing Hippity. 50% if we can get Catkins to kill Hipity and then turn the coke can on himself." - Phat Endy
W: Actually, I think the REAL 4 readers of The Pitch found their way to The Forum late last week.

"After college did you (newbie named 'Death') travel the US visiting all of America's rest stops?" - Karupt

"Only people from Arkansas moan 'oh sister oh sister' when having sex." - combine_billy

"Jack Steadman, KC Wolf I and a lot of dead K.C. Chiefs are buried there (Hunt Midwest Underground)." - Colonel Klink

"They (WHB) were pimping some book. 810 has quit talking sports and is one giant infomercial now. They have to be that way to recoup some of the money they are losing with the Royals radio rights this year." - The Mule
W: Obviously, they're not losing money this season. As Leabo explained in The Forum, what's sold is sold for 2004. There are no refunds just because the Royals suck. But here's something to think about...how'd you like to be a WHB salesperson and have to hit the streets to sell the Royals in 2005?

"I think combine_billy traded two cows for the keys to the celeb thread. O&A thought it was a fair trade because he figured he could offer the cows for sex with fat chicks. Just like I would have done." - catkins

"I GIVE UP!!! Unfortunately, The Forum has somehow dropped to such a level that most of the posts are pure drivel these days. I have wasted enough time here. Think of me fondly. Peace."- Leawood John
W: Why is it that I keep missing Leawood John's retirements? He posted this on 6/28 and I'm just now seeing it? I didn't realize he had "left" again. The truth is, I think we all go through our moments with The Forum. You know what I'm talking about...those times when you're just not getting anything out of it. None of the threads interest you and you have nothing to say. The best thing to do is take a break for a couple of days and come back fresh. When you do, all of the threads will interest you, and you'll have plenty to say. Leawood John will be back. They ALL come back. In fact, he's probably already back and we just don't know it. Be on the lookout, folks.

"LJ's 4th retirement? He should change his name to MJ." - Phat Endy

"I forgot, you (triplow) work at the Ford plant. Seems odd that Kietz would drive all the way down there for a coffee refill." - Hot Carl
W: Poor triplow. We went through this with him last year, too. He's still in denial about posting on The Forum last year from Union Broadcasting. We really don't care who he is, where he's at, or where he's been. We just find it humorous that he gets so fired up about it. Incidentally, KCFORUM no longer uses the IP locator "superpower" for anything other than fighting evil. Your privacy is completely safe.

"As per being ignorant on gays....what's there to be ignorant about? They march and protest to proclaim their desire to plunge butts. Am I missing something?" - Real Stonie

"Just some old California Roll eatin', flower flannel wearin', tree huggin' Bitterman who has one too many grains of sand stuck in his vagina." - Hoosier Dan
W: Note to self...H-Dan and Leawood John do not get along.

"I'm NOT eating till the Royals score a run! It's been at least 23 innings since the Royals last scored. Someone tell me when they do, this is the last time I'm tuning in on any medium to know how they're doing...ahh F*** it!" - iplayoutside
W: Could the Royals suck any MORE?

"Personally, I don't give a good god damn who hunts what, as long as it is eaten or the half-eaten jogger is taken out of the animal's gut."- frankentiger

"Damn it, Carl. When did you put your dress on? Just when you think you know a guy he is nice to a m'fn newbie." - Karupt


The Hot Carl/CDUBB voicemail from the night of 7/1/04. Click below.

Thanks to all who helped make "The Westmar Show" a success today on the Phantom Radio Network. I will be reairing the show all weekend long so if you're interested in listening in, be sure to check the Terror Dome for around the clock showtime updates.

Without further delay, here are this weeks rankings, which can also be heard during the radio show:

KCFORUM POSTER POWER RANKINGS

1. (2) CDUBB
2. (4) catkins
3. (1) Phat Endy
4. (10) Hot Carl
5. (5) Footys
6. (6) Karupt
7. (7) Twisted Steel
8. (8) FrankWhite4Ever
9. (9) Real Stonie
10.(3) pell
11.(15) bmanpoo
12.(14) frankentiger
13.(12) WILDCAT NATION
14.(13) JayhawkChris
15.(11) Leawood John
16.(16) HuskerBen
17.(18) BobbyD
18.(17) Intense one
19.(21) JB
20.(20) I-Hawk
21.(23) Stugats
22.(22) Soylent Green
23.(24) kcjrbean1
24.(25) lawgeek
25.(26) MC86
26.(27) Paintman
27.(19) Bubba Clyde
28.(29) KCPowercat
29.(30) drunkard
30.(31) Hoosier Dan
31.(34) Sully75
32.(32) Master P
33.(33) Battle Cat
34.(38) NickOrange
35.(28) Colonel Klink
36.NEW sullygal
37.(37) kcburg
38.NEW HartfordFan97
39.(39) KCsportsnut
40.NEW SBTB Queen


Drops: AusSteveW, j.lo, Omar

Debuts: sullygal, HartfordFan97, SBTB Queen

Move of the week: Hot Carl

Fall of the week: Bubba Clyde

Well, here she blows. The first written update in about twelve days - and it should be a heck of a day on Friday! Saturday is my one year anniversary at KCFORUM.net and I'm celebrating it on Friday by giving you, the fine people of The Forum, an internet radio broadcast that will include an updated countdown of the KCFORUM Poster Power Rankings. Be sure to check out the thread in the Terror Dome for more info. It'll be posted by 8:30 AM or so.

Some of our friends headed to Boulevard Brewery last night for some free beer, bmanpoo style. I have a feeling some of them will still be shit-faced at work tomorrow morning. I figured we'd start off the Best Of with a little ditty from bmanpoo, himself.


Westmar's Best Of KCFORUM.net - 32nd Edition

The line-up for the free Boulevard Beer softball team, as forseen by bmanpoo:

"Leading off...me, bmanpoo (good eye, doesn't swing at many bad beers, good on-beer percentage)
Batting 2nd - drunkard (good at moving bmanpoo up to his next beer)
Hitting 3rd - CDUBB (clutch drunk, high swigging percentage)
Clean-up - Twisted Steel (although a bit confused and may go to 75th st brewery, but very powerful drunk, high in rbi's or "Refreshing Beers Ingested)
5th - combine_billy (reliable at the bar even facing the toughest bartenders, straight out of the farm system)
6th - Frankentiger (in a bit of a slump, but showing promise)
7th - Hot damn Carl (steady on a stool)
8th - Paint the Man (veteran leadership)
9th - Sully75 (the enforcer. brush back beers will incur his rath)
10th and pitching - Sullygal (has personal relationship, and drinks often with God)

in the bullpen - a very special surprise guest

on the bench - Stromyle, Wildcat nation, BobbyD"


"Young Naive New York Liberals. Who put pell in charge of member recruitment?" - Bubba Clyde

"I'm voting for Kerry because I hate America!" - catkins
W: I also heard (from a reliable source named Karupt) that you are a commie, catkins.

"I'm sure O&A has something (resume software) since he has to use his resume every two weeks." - CDUBB

"I must be excited. I have taken two dumps today. I can't remember the last time I took two dumps in the same week, let alone the same day." - combine_billy
W: You'd never guess that Billy and I both grew up in a household with a mother who taught behavior disturbed students, would you?

"All I know is that the lead singer is still gettin it done with that voice. Maybe he's preserved it by, oh I don't know, not doing anything the last 20 years, but it sounds great. I envy vocals like that. With that kind of range I could expand my karaoke repertoire tenfold."- Footys
W: What's the difference between Footys and Greg Hall? Greg Hall would've spelled "repertoire" incorrectly.

"Butt hair is now being used by truckers as 'grip handles'." - Real Stonie

"We should be greatful that westmar has the time to put out his blog spot on a regular basis (the same formula that came up with the rankings has been used to project how regular the site is updated) to give us something to read and talk about." - Karupt

"Michael Moore is the douchebag of all douchebags in my book. And my book of douchebags is fuggin' LONG man." - Phat Endy

"I understand. I'd rather not feel you...try Catkins. He's in to that." - Twisted Steel

"Stalkers and psychos are even crazier in bed. There is the problem of getting rid of them that you may have to deal with and you may have to get your car repainted when it is all said and done, but the sex with an emotionally unstable psychotic hot bitch is the best in the world...I feel kind of like a father figure now. I can tell you one thing, we are helping this young man waaaay more than my dad ever helped me...never EVER EVER pay for anything with a psycho chick. They are psycho for a reason and will do whatever you want them to do. If you play (it) right you could get some kick ass shit out of this deal like some video games or at least some cd's or clothes or a watch." - CDUBB

"Greg Hall has a TV show now?" - drunkard
W: That'd be...interesting. Or maybe we can at least get him to do some internet radio...?

"Well, you've met my nappy ass, so you are probably wondering two things: #1. How hot is my wife? #2. How in the hell have I kept her drunk for 3 years so she won't divorce me?" - Phat Endy
W: This was in response to CDUBB mentioning that Endy might have the cutest kid he has ever seen. It's funny Endy should say this offer this perspective because I've been wondering the same thing for several months now - how hot IS Mrs. Endy?

"I like the moves. They (Royals) actually addressed some needs. Had Carl Peterson and Dick Vermeil been in charge of the trade, the Royals would have ended up with 2 more first baseman and another shortstop." - Intense one
W: I.O. always finds the witty, yet oh so truthful parallels.

"If the plural of mouse is mice, then shouldn't the plural of spouse be spice?" - CDUBB
W: I always kinda had a thing for "Sporty Spouse" ERRR "Spice".

"Dad catches his son playing with himself. Dad says to his son, 'Son, you know if you keep doing that you'll go blind.' The son responds, "Dad, I'm over here." - The Mule
W: I've met The Mule at a Horrorwood Babble-On.com sneak preview movie. I wish he'd post more often. I think he'd fit right in.

"I rarely drink and rarely drink and drive. However, I am adamantly opposed to these DUI checkpoints. I think for the police to simply pull everyone over at a given location for any reason reminds me of Nazi, Germany." - Leawood John
W: Not exactly the funniest of quotes. I just thought it was interesting to note that LJ is old enough to remember Nazi, Germany. But I have to give him credit for being opposed to these checkpoints. Sadly, they go on everywhere, even in smaller cities and towns.

"Morrison and Cobain are two dudes whose musical legend definitely benefitted from their early deaths. I guarantee the now-irrelevant lead singers of Stone Temple Pilots and Smashing Pumpkins are regretting their decisions to go on living." - Footys

"He (bwoods) only posts when he's 6 drinks deep into his bottle of Bacardi and the Chiefs are playing." - Phat Endy

"Well, he was always holding a coke while flicking it (the light switch). So yes, exactly like a little Catkins." - SBTB Queen
W: Apparently, word travels fast. They already know about "catkins and the coke can" way out on the West Coast.

"Last spring training...KK (Kevin Kietzman) saw (George) Brett in uniform and wanted to report that George was coming out of retirement. Thank God for our man Leabo setting him straight!" - Paintman
W: Is it even necessary to ask if this is true?

"Listening to Rhonda Moss is worse than watching a retard eat buffalo wings." - CDUBB
W: Politically correct or not, CDUBB is one of our "no-holes-barred" posters.

"Sullygal obviously hasn't seen Drunkard's biking pics from ragbra or whatever the hell it's called." - Twisted Steel
W: Why is it that people have such a difficult time with ANYTHING having to do with "Iowa"? It's "RAGBRAI" and it stands for "Register's Annual Great Bicycle Ride Across Iowa". If you take out the "I", you take Iowa out of the equation. Without Iowa, the man in the middle of the U.S. map has no face. Without a face, we are nothing more than another molecular structure. Oh forget it. Let's just call it "RAGBRA".

"I'd kill everyone in this room for one sweet drop of beer..." - Hot Carl
W: What a surprise...

"I honestly think I won't make it til 6:00pm; do you think the people I visit in the hospital will mind if I go ahead and get started (drinking) early?" - sullygal

"I should not slap the hand that promotes my Channel 10 CB show. Free promotions are always great unless they involve Catkins, a hairless rabbit, some crisco and a no pull-out clause." - Karupt

"If I do in fact end up winning, I would hate to think that the victory came against a late 70's Elvis version of Endy, sitting at his computer in a Broncos inspired jump suit covered in blue and orange rhinestones popping Junior Mints like they were oxycontins and jerking off while reading his slam of Battle Cat for the 1,879,654,932,874th time and glossing himself the moderator of smack." - CDUBB
W: I know Endy didn't find this post terrible humorous, but being the Elvis fan that I am, I couldn't help but giggle like a school girl when I read it.

"Rage Against The Machine's first album is great for grudge and hate f***s. Are you getting this, Hartford?" - kcjrbean1
W: You see, Paint? Aren't you glad you made me moderator of the Music Forum? You didn't have many F-bombs in it before...now it's a REAL Music Forum!

"He (westmar) can refer to Nick (Orange) as 'My wee Westie'". - Twisted Steel

"I have a kid and a job and rarely have time to get on this forum." - Hot Carl

"Taking LJ seriously is like talking shit when you are playing ball with a 4 year old. If it makes you feel cool then you are just pathetic." - CDUBB
W: I never thought of it that way. And I never thought I'd say this, but...CDUBB, you're right.

"Can any Powercat that covers a nipple really be considered perfectly placed?" - Rancho Relaxo

"My wife is lucky; I do it between commercials. Damn, I last long!" - frankentiger
W: I always tell my wife...the more often we do it, the longer I'll last.