What a week it's been. Things were good at the forum, then they were lame, then they turned weird...and then they went Wolverine-Willie-sour. Rather than ramble on, I'll let the quotes do the talking.

P.S. - See you at HELLBOY tomorrow night in Merriam!

Westmar's Best of KCFORUM.NET - 23rd Edition

"Leabo, if it makes you feel better, I still think 2% milk is a pretty good deal."- hawkchief
W: Kevin Kietzman interviewed the KC Golf Saver/Driving 4 Bruce guys on WHB and pimped their golf coupon book as a great cause because "a portion of the proceeds" was being donated to ALS/Bruce Edwards. They would not state over the airwaves or on their website how much money per coupon book was actually being donated. It was eventually discovered that a mere dollar (about 2%) was being donated to ALS for every book sold. Auditproof led the crusade against 810 in our forum by pointing out that 810 and KK had refused to disclose that only $1.00 was being donated out of the $49.95 the coupon book was sold for. Audit went on to say, "One can only assume that they knew it all along...Bottom line is that 810/KK and the KC Golf Saver are exploiting Bruce Edwards, ALS for the benefit of their own pocketbook..."

"...I've never changed in the 10 years i've called kansas city home. H2K gets no different treatment than catman. I was born to expose guys like catman and H2K...They're the same person. never seen 'em in the same room together. Tell H2K me and my tape recorder will be waiting for him if he ever shows his face at a sporting event. I guess i'll catch him at a royals game...Should be a great interview...The boy of hummer." - bigsexy
W: So Big Boy thinks he was "born to expose guys like (Fortune) and (Kietzman)"? What is he talking about? I thought he was a sports columnist/pseudo-radio personality? What does mudslinging your competition have to do with the sports he's supposed to know so much about? It's funny how Sweatlock just happens to show up in our forum when things like this go down. Otherwise, he's never around.

"This guy (DOGFOOD, a newbie) listens to shows he doesnt like and then posts on an internet message board full of people he doesn't like. This is the reason the Pentagon kept the internet a secret for so many years." - Karupt
W: Freakin' Karupt! Making me laugh my ass off while my wife is sleeping. Post of the week right here, folks!

"Man, that is some straight up hate. Do you (DOGFOOD) need a tissue or something? I can envision this person with two cigerettes burning at once, while he washes down his high blood pressure medicine with a Jack and Coke, white knuckled to the keyboard. Dude, calm down." - A-TRAIN

"In other words they have taken your (Whitlock's) place, right? I mean it was you that came on this board and said you had no idea of wether or not the KK hummer rumors were true and that closing the message boards was not caused by that incident. This was when KK and his cronies were cutting your check, right? You accused us all of being bitter and looking for things that weren't there back then. Now that you don't work for him he is evil and uses stool pigeons to fight his battles? Seems like more of the same and you used to be the guy doing it."- JayhawkChris
W: Interesting stuff that I did not know. You see? I knew we kept those "Old Schoolers" around for something.

"Please tell Kevin (Kietzman) and Chad (Boeger) that whenever they get around to returning some emails I sent them in 1998 that would be great." - Stugats
W: Hey, Hot Carl! Hawkchief! Stuggie's back! Great post, good point.

"My wife was sick on my birthday and went to bed early. Alone. No 'Birthday Sex' for me. But now, she feels REALLY guilty and has arranged a babysitter and made reservations at my favorite restaurant tonight so we can go out by ourselves. (She and I, not me and the baby sitter)." - lawgeek
W: My birthday is this coming Thursday. I'm not planning on anything special. I'm sure my wife's not, either.

"Now does anyone wonder if Nick (Lachey) tells her (his wife, Jessica Simpson), 'you were sporting a camel toe'. Now does anyone think she'd respond with 'REALLY! What's a camel toe?' "- HuskerBen
W: About six years ago, some friends of mine were in town. We were attending a Royals game when, for some reason, the term "camel toe" came up in subject. Sadly, I had gone thru more than twenty-five years of life without coming across the term - I had no idea what it meant. In an attempt to find out (and having NO CLUE what I was saying) I shouted down our row of five people to one of my friends: "Hey, Todd! What's a 'camel toe'?!?!" My bad.

"Westmar, you have the memory of an elephant! We got into that debate months ago when you were a shy newbie with only a couple hundred posts and that heavy metal stoner for an avatar. And look at you now. After racking up a few thousand posts, organizing a couple of Minsky's parties, and launching a web site, you've gone into hiding. Everyone on this board is furious at your lack of posting and lame website updates...you have no good takes anymore, and you allegedly work all the time. What a disgrace!" - KC Mouth
W: In response, I happened to mention to Mouth that the "heavy metal stoner" avatar was actually me in disguise. No one knew it at the time, of course.

"I would like to thank O&A and Catkins for calling me every half hour to try and talk me into coming down (when I say they tried to 'talk me into coming down', I mean they verbally berated me and questioned my manhood)." - CDUBB
W: Thankfully, O&A has apparently forgotten that my phone number is also programmed into his phone. It seems CDUBB returned the favor to Catkins this last Friday night/morning by calling him at five-thirty AM.

"You can make big bucks working at home...I just got an email explaining how..." - bmanpoo (in the KCFORUM chatroom)
W:Our first quote from the chatroom. More to come? I doubt it.

"4'11? What was Jim Rome doing in town?"- Battle Cat

"You know, he's actually gotten quite a few responses for a first thread. I think Westy was on here for six months before he got this many responses." - Hot Carl
W: This is a true story.

"That's because Westy is the KILLER of threads. Hell, he's the Ted Bundy of message boards."- Twisted Steel

"The only thing Westy's figured on this board is how to kill a thread."- hawkchief
W: This is also a true story. It happens to me on a regular basis...but you should've seen how many of them I killed on Friday. Everytime I posted in a thread, it became the last post of the thread and tumbled towards the bottom of the page. I even began one thread titled "Look at how many threads I've killed today" and the only person to respond was me. However, I think the "commies" did that on purpose.

"It takes a special kind of person to be on staff in the forum. Not just any geek off the street can be a mod."- CDUBB

"Is this your chosen course to become forum mod. I think O&A played his little 'I found Jesus' bit just before he became mod of the porn room." - chiefsfarmteam

"Do you need CDUBB to come over and teach you to turn on your computer too? Don't feel bad if you do, I had to go over and teach him how to turn on his wife." - O&A Army

"Holy crap, a third thread on this tired subject (Bruce Edwards/Golf Coupon Book)? Now I'm at a loss as to where to post my smart-ass comments." - bmanpoo

"I'm 6% heavier because of the increase in Steel. (insert bad Westy joke here)" - Twisted Steel
W: I figured I'd just let everyone else do it for me in the thread.

"Endy, you may lose a couple of these guys with the use of the word 'myopic' " - kcjrbean1

"Punch yourself in the penis? How many swings will that take before you connect?" - Hot Carl
W: Sadly, Hot Carl was posting about me. I set myself up and got what I deserved. But at least I know what "camel toe" means these days.

"It's difficult for me to read anything JW writes. I keep visualizing him sitting there like Jabba the Hut and hearing that adenoidal voice of his." - Faxmebeers
W: It might not be the funniest quote, but even shotgun naked thought it was an accurate description of Sweatlock's voice.

"Lighten up, it's all in fun. One man's vinegar is another man's wine. BTW: Who in the hell needs pu$$y when porn and ky jelly is so readily available?" - g man
W: From what I've heard about this Fast Eddie (now g man), he doesn't really deserve to be posting in our forum at all. This quote, while not exactly funny, gives us an idea as to just how goofy the jingle-ass is.

"Peter North is a fuggin' stud. That dude can blow his load like 8 feet. He'll bang 4 chicks and then shoot out a gallon moneyshot on the 5th. I had a goldfish that would take these huge shits that would hang out his ass about 11 inches. He'd swim around with this poop hanging out his ass for 2 days. I named him Peter North." - Phat Endy
W: This was in response to my saying that Peter North's wood looks better than Kemper Arena's floors. Intense one called me out for what I call "homo-eroticism", but Phat Endy heard my point, loud and clear. Intense was probably a little too tipsy at the time to catch it. After all, it was Saturday night...

"It's (MTV's 'I Want A Famous Face') sick. How about the twins who wanted to look like Brad Pitt. Many thousands of bucks later they have smaller noses and just as much acne. How about seeing a dermatoligist for some SALVE and a 45 minute session with an esteem therapist?" - Real Stonie

"I have 3 rules...no one twice my own weight, no super lazy eyes where you can't tell what they are looking at and no bad teeth, which has a recent adendum put on it. No teeth is not the same as bad teeth, if you get my drift." - HuskerBen

"I better not ever hear Leigh Steinberg on Rome's show after this statement: 'Olshansky was signed by agent Leigh Steinberg, who said recently, "(Olshansky) is a Ukrainian Jew who came to the United States when he was 7. I'm sure his mother is wondering why he isn't going to become a doctor, but he can play." ' - combine_billy
W: A great point by combine_billy. Jim Rome's double standards are GLARINGLY OBVIOUS. The problem with this one is that Steinberg, himself, is Jewish.

"This guy (buckybadgersbrother) understood the plight of the black man from the conversations he had with his housekeeper. He considered himself a philanthropist because every year he wrote a check to unicef and cried watching Sally Struthers fat ass feed the poor dumb bastards that still live in the desert. I am not sure what you all did to drive him off but he was a fun, although misguided, read and I miss him." - Wolverine Willie
W: Well, Willie...if you spent a little more time at KCFORUM you'd know exactly what happened to bbb. Instead, you...oh, forget it. Let me tell you how I feel about WW, people. I used to be entertained by the guy, until I came to KCFORUM.net. Then I read some of his posts and realized how screwed up he really is. Dude needs to stick to being a radio personality wanna-be (although I know a lot of you would prefer he stop doing that, too.) His schtick and smack belong on the radio as a call-in listener, where he can be cut off after thirty seconds. A majority of his posts - especially the threads he starts - are lengthy, ridiculous, self-serving rants that have nothing to do with the price of steel in China. I don't even know why he bothers half the time. The only thing I can think of is that he's trying to draw attention to himself, ala Whitlock.

Note: After writing the above for this update, a WW forum incident/thread from January was brought to my attention that included Twisted Steel and a missing mentally disabled man. I was out of town when the original thread was started by Twisted and turned into a debacle by WW. Last night, WW started another ridiculous thread about the mentally disabled man, causing more attention to be drawn to him. To make a long story short, WW and I exchanged a few words last night on that thread - something we've never before done in a negative manner. I've always tried to treat WW with a touch of dignity - something he obviously doesn't deserve. Last night was finally a breaking point for me. I ended up saying a lot less than I originally intended, deciding there was no point in it. Sadly, another thread started by WW has only heightened his suck-sess of becoming the biggest jackass to ever post at KCFORUM.net. Like I said, I used to find him somewhat entertaining, but after getting to know him a little better through his posts, I've realized how much of a bigot he really is. If you're interested in more info about the threads I am referring to, check out the Terror Dome and "Only serious responses please" (from January) and "Twisted Steel...They Found Him Dead!?!" (from last night). By the way, kudos to KCsportsnut (who works at the establishment from where the man was missing) for posting her two-cents worth Sunday afternoon.

"By the way, Willie, quit calling our office and asking who's in charge of ordering toner."- Hot Carl

"Isn't Kush that fat kid from STAND BY ME?" - westmar
W: I have to pat myself on the back for this one. Nearly thirty-six hours after I posted it, I decided I should go back and see if anyone had responded. I was amazed at the string of posts I had caused, led by my pals Stugats and Karupt, as well as a bunch of "newbies".

"In closing if you would like to buy one of my Jerkn Off books for ALS please U2U me with your credit cards numbers. No gas cards accepted (sorry Bubba). Now Im going to read this thread and see how many of you pinko bastards placed me in your lists. Yes I will be adding this to my report." - Karupt
W: Phat Endy vowed this week to no longer post as aggressively as he has in the recent past, siting his tendency to haze newbies and post smack as a reason for the drop in attendance from some of the old schoolers. In an effort to bring smiles and happiness back to the Terror Dome (what's wrong with that statement?), Endy began a thread Friday where posters listed their favorite forum members based on some given categories. In the above post, Karupt is doing what he does best - combining three different subject matters into one post. If you're able to keep up with him, you're doing a helluva job, people!

"Lawgeek-Best Voice of Reason and Best Leawood Resident. Voted 'Most Likely Not to Get Laid' in law school. Kcsportsnut-Most likely to be confused as a guy. Twisted-Poster with biggest heart until Wolverine Willie pisses him off. Raidersblow-Do you stalk Phat? Damn, there's a room at the asylum with your name on it. Phat Endy-The best teacher I never had. Fiberoptician-I missed the latest thing everyone is talking about, but buying a bride is a tad different. CDUBB-Initially I thought you had some serious issues, but since cutting back on the poop jokes is now near the top of my good list. Bubba Clyde-Most like to kick my ass. I like him, not in a sexual way..." - Leawood John
W: Is anyone else worried that Leawood John might someday show up to a forum get-together?

"Do you ever cry? Do you ever just sit down and reflect on all of the sadness in the world and just cry? Does the hoplessness of those less fortunate than us ever make you sad? This is an opportunity to bring back the serious talk that makes this forum really great and keeps people form leaving, so weigh in with some deep thoughts on what makes you sad" - JayhawkChris
W: As far as I can tell, this place has been PROGRESSING. Everything anyone would ever want is here at KCFORUM. We've got sports forums, other forums, the Terror Dome, and a spin-off site. I mean, how many serious sports-takes can you have in one year that haven't already been said? I can be as serious as the next guy...and I can also get bored as hell listening to people give me the same takes on sports over and over again. Besides, sports talk is a little slow at this time of year. If some old schoolers have really left because of a "lack of seriousness" here, I seriously call "bullshit". It's still here. You're just not going to find it in the Terror Dome. By the way...I love this place. Have I ever mentioned that?

"Rumors of the love-making fest are true. Hipity and I are heading over to Carl's tonight. We will be "fishing" for dingleberries in Butthole Lake." - Greg LooseAnus Louganis
W: Then again, I can see where this kind of crap can get old to anyone - old school or new. (Yawn!)

"Now that the two day nice-fest has failed causing the Terror Dome to go soft, I vow that I will do my best to more of a fuggin a-hole in here. Knuckle up pussies!" - catkins
W: First Phat Endy softens up and then catkins pulls this? What in the hell is going on? (Insert TWILIGHT ZONE theme music) Worse yet, we seem to be in some sort of Alternate Forum Universe where new members are naming themselves CDUBBB, Karrupt, Real Stonie, and HotCarl. I can't imagine that any regular forum members would do this, can you?

"Up kcjrbean1's ass!! What kind of user name is that? I'm changing mine to kccokepooperhawkjetspacers24" - catkins
W: A little sneak preview for you of things to come from catkins.

"So catkins is this new bi-polar deal working out for you?"- Intense one

Another week, another update. Several things have happened recently at KCFORUM including the hazing of another newbie, Faxmebeers. It was a little hectic at first (see below), but the situation seems to be under control as of late. Fax's arrival and initiation also helped inspire forum veteran Bubba Clyde to pen KCFORUM.NET: A Who's Who For Dummies. Unfortunately, I am unable to get a link to work for it here on my site. Go to the Terror Dome at KCFORUM.net and check out the thread.

The catkins Coke can-references have also continued, although I think I speak for a majority of members when I say that it's already getting old. On the other hand, any comments of negativity towards the "retired" buckybadgersbrother (bbb) or his self-righteous ghost are always welcome.

DAWN OF THE DEAD? Another mindless, big-screen classic to snicker at. Oh, I almost forgot. HELLBOY Sneak Preview passes are available while they last at Horrorwood Babble-On. (A link is on your right.) Click on "FREE FLIX" on the left-hand side of the front page. Follow the instructions. Get there early.

Westmar's Best of KCFORUM.NET - 22nd Edition

"I would like to add something funny to this thread, but Westy won't include it on any update so what's the use." - Twisted Steel
W: There's no reason to read any more of this, Twisted...you big, baby pee-pants.

"Look Ass Man, don't drag me into your sordid butt fantasies. It's bad enough that you mentioned a coke can in your ass, but knowing that you're trying to build up the anal elasticity to handle a Foldger's can is down right disturbing. Coke can, coffee can...then what? COFFEE POT?" - Original Stonie
W: Keep in mind...Stonie is known for taking things out of context.

"How the hell did the new school get the power to run off a forum legend (buckybadgersbrother)? I never had a problem with the guy, in fact he helped me out a couple of times with some business ettiquette stuff. You guys are just jealous that you weren't around to see the Cubs win a WS." - HuskerBen
W: If a forum member continuously "retires" because he's harassed about his arrogant points-of-view, whose fault is it?

"Wow chucklehead, that's about a half a notch above KCPauls 'Eat Shit, Newbie'. And here Westy told me that there were some truly inventive posters over here. Why, half these gomers are cum gargling sodomites and the majority of the rest seem to be suffering from a terminal case of cranial rectumitis. Westmar, which one of these troglodites is the closest to being the Forum equivalent of Bearcat? I'm feelin the need. Anyway, thanks for the welcome everyone and I hope I can contribute to the insanity." - Faxmebeers
W: This is the post that sent Phat Endy into "newbie-hazing mode". Even though KC Paul has been quite tolerable over the past several months, I found it humorous that Fax picked up on KCP's wit and originality so quickly. I think it was the reference to Bearcat that did him in. Who's Bearcat? It's not important.

"Heh...and Endy actually wanted me to let him mod a room specifically to welcome in the newbies. I think he enjoys Ned Beattying all the fresh meat." - Paintman
W: The smack that Endy laid down on Faxmebeers was...well...smack! And Fax dished out some of his own. It was too lengthy to quote here, so you'll have to go to the Terror Dome to read it. In the long run, I expect Faxmebeers to take it like a man as the rest of us did and slowly find where he fits in. Welcome to THE Forum, Faxmebeers!

"Welcome to the board faxmequeers! Don't worry about endy he's just wound up tighter than leawood john in an independence walmart ever since the clinton portis trade." - Intense one

"Faxmequeers, I need a #6 with just mayo and a regular coke. And biggie size that (just tell KCPaul behind the counter, he'll know what to do). Then go to the nearest convenience store and pick me up some high quality skin-rags and a 40 of Miller (shut the fug up, haters...it's the Champagne of Beers!). Now deliver all that to me, PRONTO!! See if you can beat Catkins' record. He had all this shit to me in 14 minutes and 8 seconds, setting a newbie record that still stands. That, my friend, is why he's now a Hall of Famer."- Hot Carl
W: After that little rampage...anyone else ready for a trip to McD's? Mmmmm...yum....

"Phat (Endy) has skin softer then the 13 year old boys that he manhandles on a daily bases." - Stromyle

"This brings me to thinking...have we ever had someone come in under the radar? Other than chicks? We give the girls a free freaking pass, just because we are all under the spell that on the other end of that internet connection is some hot chic. We have been lucky so far, but one of these days it will be some fat, cross eyed, toothless bag with 2 babies sitting at her computer smoking, and blowing the 2nd hand on the babies she is breast feeding. All the while in her bathrobe, wearing curlers and collecting unemployment." - HuskerBen
W: H-Ben is such a realist...it sometimes brings me down. But I'm getting used to it. We Husker fans have been forced into realism over the past several years.

"So lets go through the checklist.

Football.....Check
Basketball @allen.........Check
Basketball @Hearnes..........Check
Ruin the Senior Night..........Check
Ruin the closing on your House.........Check
DESTROY you in the Big 12 Tourney........Check

Someone needs to call Mastercard because this is freakin pricelss." - Karupt

"I'm talking about meeting you fucks in person. Not apprehensive in a 'high school girl on a first date with O&A' nervous kind of way, but more of a "this guy was one of my favorite posters and he turned out to be a real fucking jingle ass in real life" or "I thought this poster was a retarded choad but he turned out to be as hella-cool as me" or worst case 'The Sin Sister is a DUDE!'. My world could be turned upside-down on April 5th." - shotgun naked

"I'm a little nervous too. I just don't know what I'm going to wear!" - Paintman (in response to the above from shotgun naked)

"Hey westy if you're not doing anything, why don't you run over to the other board and bring us a new retard to play with?" - Intense one

"My wife plays a good piano, but she blows on the organ." - Twisted Steel
W: This one caught me by surprise. Twisted...if you've read this far, nice job!

"Holy shit! Stro's posted a curse word now twice in the last few days and is requesting some soft-core porn! Maybe there is hope for him afterall!" - shotgun naked
W: Stromyle's another fine fellow who caught himself some newbie hazing after he'd been around for awhile.

"This is like when 610 took on 810. The people that truly benefit are the readers. Westy, you have become what you once lambasted, you conglomo bastard! Let's hope you at least got some road-head from your receptionist." - Hot Carl
W: Ummmm...

"where do is view said update?" - MC86
W: A mind is a terrible thing to waste. So is beer. Just ask MC86.

"Oh yeah? Well shut your....I got nuthin" - catkins

"Catkins puts a new meaning to 'Have a coke and a smile'." - Twisted Steel

"I thought he was switching to Coke with lemon because it smells better." - frankentiger

"Catkins, I was about to report you to "Perverted Justice" until I saw your recant! Wanting to see Westy's ex's naked baby, how lewd..." - KC Mouth

"Your skin is softer than a 14 year old boy's hands with a bottle of Jerkins and his daddy's skin mag." - Phat Endy

"I think Carl will draft Larry Johnson again." - BobbyD

"Yesterday, I had a breakfast on a balcony overlooking the most beautiful beach in the Caribbean. This morning, I had a bad cup of coffee and a pop tart, overlooking Leawood John walking his beloved Yorkie down our street. Talk about going from one extreme to another..." - lawgeek

"LJ made several refrences that basically implied you were a guy who was a homo. Then he realized you were a girl, basically making him wrong for about the 1,500th time out of about 1,700 posts. And that makes him 10x more acurate than Grag Hall." - Bubba Clyde

WANTED: One dwarf or three year-old child to model Van Morrison t-shirt for eBay sale. Contact Westy via email.

I hope this update pleases everyone. I worked on it while being intoxicated for 48 hours straight. My wife has left me. She took the cats. The dog is still here...but only because she's too old to know any better.

If anyone's interested, there are still tickets available for Horrorwood Babble-On's sneak preview showing of Angelina Jolie's movie TAKING LIVES at the Cinemark Merriam 20, Monday, March 15th, 7:30PM. If you're interested, send me an email - fast!

Speaking of Horrorwood Babble-On (link on right), there's a review of the site in the current issue of METAL MANIACS magazine. I'm not sure that the reviewer got a complete grasp of who we are, but so what? We'll take the publicity anyway we can get it.

I was planning on beginning today's update by asking what the deal is with catkins' Coca Cola avatar. Thankfully, I was blessed with the answer...and I couldn't stop laughing. Read on.

Westmar's Best of KCFORUM.NET - 21st Edition

"Okay, so I'm sitting here eating one of those little Twix Bars that I stole from my kid...you know, the ones that say 'Fun Size' on them? Anyway, I was thinking it would be a whole lot more fun if it was bigger." - Hot Carl

"Oddly enough my wife says that all the time." - CDUBB (in response to the above)

"I just saw the group pic from some Forum meeting posted on here. This picture included you, O&A. With this in mind, I say 'GOOD LUCK!'" - shotgun naked
W: Poor O&A. I'm not sure he gets a fair shake. I mean...he's single, people. The guy's gonna see some action. Whether you're jealous or not is between you and your penis.

"I have a Sears return story too. When I was in college, the cool video game was pong. Seriously. Well I bought this stolen pong game from a neighbor, and it eventually shot craps. I took it into a Sears in a grocery bag, and they replaced it, no questions asked. So we fired up the bong and ponged on."- bmanpoo

"I've had this happen before. At first you're pushing like hell and thinking 'please get out of my ass you fuggin turd!' Then when it starts to happen and it's ripping your ass open, you're like 'Oh sweet lord please STOP!!'. But it's too late and this horrible monster is ripping away. Once the bowels are set into motion it becomes an involuntary muscle reaction. I was at my folks house when it happened to me and my mom was pounding on the door going 'are you allright?' No joke, I was screaming like I had broke my leg. I had to break the sum bitch up with a shovel so it would go down the toilet. I bet you could've shoved a coke can up my ass after that mess." - catkins
W: And thus, the answer to the Coca Cola can avatar. If you've never had this experience before...you're lucky. It doesn't matter how much broccoli you eat, it can still happen. Beware!


"In 4+ years of forum dwelling, this is perhaps the most disturbing thing I have read." - Original Stonie (in response to the above)

"That would be nice. My wife has forgotten where my nuts are." - Phat Endy

"Paint is right, just as he is 95% of the time. Of course the other 5% he talks about KU." - Bubba Clyde

"I'm with you Bubba. If MU loses let's agree to kill ourselves. When the game ends hang yourself, then I will U2U you. If you don't reply I will really consider it." - Leawood John
W: Leawood John might be a little off-base at times, but there are also times when he can pull some funny ones out his arse. (pun intended)

"Take it easy, Bubba...it's all in fun. Don't go Klink on us, please!" - pell

"And then God said: 'Let there be basketball'...and KU was born." - Paintman

"At least that explains your football team." - Bubba Clyde (in response to the above)

"Just remember that there is an inverse relationship between ego and penis size." - lawgeek

"That would make sense then because I have an extremely small penis." - CDUBB (in response to the above)
W: Am I the only one seeing a trend here?

"While the golfer geeks are out chasing a ball around a pasture, Shotgun Naked and I will be in a bar. Who's in? Spandex optional. Halter tops encouraged" - bmanpoo
W: I've yet to meet bmanpoo. Something in my head keeps telling me I don't want to.

"As the designated newbie for this outing, drunkard will be responsible for getting us beers, buying us food, caddying 3 holes apiece for every forum member playing golf, and making hot, sweaty man-love to Hipity and Greg Looseanus until they are utterly spent so that they don't hit on the rest of us." - Hot Carl
W: Does anyone remember the days when KCFORUM was strictly a heterosexual forum with slightly homophobic undertones? Neither do I.

"As down as I was this morning from the Tigers being humiliated last evening. I read the paper and cruised the net for news. The pictures from Spain are haunting, the story from Fresno is sickening. What a fucked up world we live in. Thank god for beer and sports." - Stromyle
W: Stro dropping an f-bomb? I could be wrong, but I believe this is a rarity. It would've been really crazy if he'd have said "Thank God for beer, sports, and PORN." But alas, it wasn't meant to be...yet.

"Forgive Westy, I think he has a bit of a man crush on me." - CDUBB

"The first thought that came to my mind while reading this thread was 'why is Westy sitting at home, watching TV and thinking about CDUBB?' Man crush, indeed. The second was 'why the hell isn't he working on a better update?'" - lawgeek

"Earlier today the avatars shut off and I thought Westmar had done it. I should have known he didn't have the real power around here." - Leawood John
W: Believe me...if I had any "power" at KCFORUM, I wouldn't use it to shut off the avatars. I'd get a link to my site on the front page of the forum.

"WAIT!! You mean it's not ethical to return a Playstation 2 game to Walmart after you've beaten it? Damn...and here I was thinking that I was doing my part for recycling." - Paintman

"Do bottles of anal lube really say 'ANAL LUBE' in big letters on them? Wow!" - Footys

"Westy once had a spot
Where the quotes and the writing were hot
But now that its sunk
And Westy's a drunk
He takes it in his balloon knot" - Hot Carl
W: I had a dilemna with this one. I mean, it's not like I found the "balloon knot" comment very humorous. But I thoroughly enjoyed being called "a drunk". Dilemna solved.

"Tired of waiting for Westy Updates? Check out this: Phat Endy's Westmar is Too Damn Slow Site. It's not updated yet." - Phat Endy

"Can we please remove Westy's posting privileges until we get a decent update to his site?" - hawkchief

"If Westy's going on double secret probation, we'll need to get a replacement for him. How's this for an advertisement? JOB OPPORTUNITY: The members of kcforum.net are looking for a temporary replacement for a forum member currently shirking his duties as the lead historian and librarian of witty, clever and/or other noteworthy forum quotes. Applicants must have extensive time on their hands and an ability to massage the massive egos of internet forum nerds who find themselves to be far more amusing than they really are. Applicants must also be able to interpret and decipher grammatically egregious posts by drunken losers. No pay . . . no benefits . . . just the pride of knowing you are memorializing the wasted time of others for all eternity." - lawgeek

"Does you (bmanpoo) and Shotgun Naked having man sex at work constitute a 'corporate challenge'?" - CDUBB

"I went a few times (to Corporate Challenge) last year. While there are some legit hotties there, what I've discovered is that you can put the ugliest chick on the planet on a bike and she's pseudo hot." - Original Stonie
W: I'm not so sure about this one, and neither were some of our other members. One thing is for sure - you can't put the ugliest dude on the planet on a bike and get him to instantly turn pseudo hot...not that I'd be a good judge of that or anything.

"I know I started this, but I won't be able to make it. I got me a sick wife who has my balls in her purse tonight." - frankentiger
W: Note to Phat Endy: Your nuts might be in frankentiger's wife's purse.

"Pictures would help. We sure as hell can't masturbate to the 'witty' comments you guys make in here!" - SBTB Queen
W: Her first post. Wow! I'm speechless. Someone show her this site.

"I just glanced to see how many people were in the chatroom. It said '1'. I bet THAT'S an interesting conversation." - westmar

"I wonder if Carol Vermeil was consulted on this matter...after all, she fired Greg Robinson." - Intense one

"Westy's site looks good to me. I no longer get bashed there. - Greg Hall." - KC Mouth

"Westy's site looks good to me. I never got quoted anyway. - Hipity" - Hot Carl

For sale: One MEDIUM SIZED Van Morrison microphone t-shirt. $11.80 or best offer.



Honestly? I couldn't be more disappointed in myself for the lack of updates here. To be even more honest, I'm not sure why anyone cares if I update this site or not. But who am I to question "the people"? I quote R.E.M. when I say: "Automatic For The People"!

If anyone's interested, HorrorwoodBabbleOn.com is giving out free passes to two upcoming sneak preview movies. The first one is this Tuesday the 9th - SECRET WINDOW starring that cutie-pie, Johnny Depp. The other is on Monday the 15th - TAKING LIVES starring that hottie, Angelia Jolie. If you're interested in either, go to the link on your right and check out FREE FLIX on the lefthand side of the site.

Westmar's Best of KCFORUM.NET - 20th Edition

"I picked up the first book (the LEFT BEHIND book series) one day because I was at a friends house and had to take a dump and he didn't have any mags in the shitter (which raises some serious questions about him as a man) and a few weeks later I was done with all of the books that are out." - CDUBB

"Why the hell would anyone read a book after discovering this site?" - BobbyD

"I may have to check it (THE DA VINCI CODE book) out. There is more to me than placenta jokes and sophomoric drivel."- HuskerBen

"That's not a fuggin' update...that's the incomprehensible ramblings of a madman. I think your site is called 'Best of KCForum.net', not 'Here's the shit that Westy REALLY thinks about all the time.' Geez..." - Hot Carl

"Easy solution. Next time prop the (bathroom) door open and let it rip. If they want to put the shitter up (in the front of your office)...just share the whole damn thing with them. They'll move the bathroom at any cost if you hit em with the right ammunition." - JayhawkChris

"I have tried twice to post (about a conversation with JW's ladyfriend, Mary). Although I was approached by the girl in question, although I have almost 70% forum polling approval, although this sloshed 26 year old revealed what she did of her own accord I must recind my choice to share this with you. " - Wolverine Willie
W: This is ANOTHER fine example of Willie acting BEFORE he thinks. Willie tends to get a conscience when it's too late to take anything back. At least this time, he stopped himself before saying/doing too much. Maybe Wolverine Willie is finally growing up?

"Benito Santiago got roids from (his) trainer, but not a number to a Dermatologist?" - Karupt

"Just wondering if I am the only one that buys 2 sticks of deoderant...one for armpits...and the other to freshen up the family jewels and crapper hole area. I figure if you can all talk about how to use toilet paper for wiping your ass then this is a legit question as well." - Fiberoptician

"Isn't the second stick wasted the first time it ventures to the crapper hole area, as you so elegantly state? Do you ever confuse them and end up with dingle berries hanging off your pits? Never mind I don't want the answer to that last question." - JayhawkChris

"Nights like these used to happen quite often. Have we all gone soft? We could get several people in here and have simple witty banter all night." - Husker Ben

"Same reason those ugly fuggers Mick Jagger or Steven Tyler (twins separated at birth) are able to nail the worlds top models..............$$$$$$$$$." - Paintman

"(William) Jewell (College) is like #5 in the country in NAIA div 2 right now. I think Div. 2 plays in Branson." - CDUBB

"I am debating between sex bracelets and rainbow lipstick. I was waiting for Lawgeek's Daughters Advice" - O&A Army