Westmar's Top Albums of 2004
1. Orphus – MAP OF HAWAII
Fave Song (3-way tie) - "Facts Of Life", "Cold Cocktail Smile", "Two-Legged Wreckin' Machine"
More than thirty years ago we had Dr. Hook & The Medicine Show. Now we have Orphus!
2. The Warren Brothers – WELL-DESERVED OBSCURITY
Fave Song - "Sell A lot Of Beer"
Once a mainstream country duo, The WB's (out of Tampa, FL) are actually more rock than country.
3. Rick Springfield - SHOCK/DENIAL/ANGER/ACCEPTANCE
Fave Song - "Wasted"
Make fun of me all you want, but RS has far more talent as a songwriter than most people realize. This album is arguably his best ever. It's also his heaviest.
4. Velvet Revolver – CONTRABAND
Fave Song - "Do It For The Kids"
When this album first came out, I was highly skeptical. Thankfully, Scott Wieland's voice no longer resembles a Pearl Jam cover band. I am surprisingly pleased with this disc.
5. Big & Rich - HORSE OF A DIFFERENT COLOR
Fave Song - "Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy"
Music without prejudice. Mixing rock, country, and dance in an original way. Not only are these guys talented, they're funny as hell and they party a lot. Again...not your average, mainstream country duo.
6. Bayside – SIRENS AND CONDOLENCES
Fave Song - "Phone Call From Poland"
This was my first review of 2004 for Horrorwood Babble-On. College/Indie Rock that is sure to please those who like catchy, uptempo tunes.
7. Butch Walker – LETTERS
Fave Song - "Lights Out"
Butch's second solo album is unfortunately a mere shadow of his former band, Marvelous 3. Although this is a frighteningly soft record, I have to give Walker his props as a lyricist, vocalist, and producer.
8. Gene Simmons – ASSHOLE
Fave Song - "Asshole"
Talk about an artist whose music is "all over the place". There are some good, fun tunes on here. And there's some fairly bad ones, too. Thank God for the title track - which by the way was NOT written by Simmons.
9. Amplified Heat – IN FOR SIN
Fave Song - "Wagon Wheel"
An interesting cross of blues and hard rock/metal. The song "Wagon Wheel" actually reminds me of Motorhead.
10. King’s X – LIVE ALL OVER THE PLACE
Fave Song - "Mississippi Moon"
A nifty 2-CD collection of many King's X tunes.
Just missed the cut:
Neil Young - GREATEST HITS
2003/2004 Crossovers:
Jet – GET BORN
The Darkness – PERMISSION TO LAND
Gavin DeGraw - CHARIOT
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Westmar's Best Of 2004 at KCFORUM.net
Here is it, kiddies. The best of the best in 2004...
"They haven't even plowed my street, and it took me three attempts to get up the hill outside my house. My reward? Getting stuck on another, longer hill on the way to 291. I gave it the finger, turned around, and went home." - Rancho Relaxo
W: Bad weather makes us do strange things, doesn't it?
"This just in, Olathe has 11"...and Gary Lezak has been asking around trying to find out more about this 'Olathe' character..." - MC86
W: MC86 rarely comes up with a good one. This was his best (and only) one of 2004.
"Hey Westmar...I just read your update - If you were on the Grammys you would've heard the wrap it up music." - dafella
"I enjoyed BBB's insights. You need to offer Bucky more respect! How many of you actually walked with Moses in the Sinai?" - Wolverine Willie
"Bout damn time I made it back in the ('Best Of' site) update. I was starting to feel like Wolverine Willie at a Rainbow Coalition fund raiser with Corky as the guest speaker." - Karupt
"Please tell Kevin (Kietzman) and Chad (Boeger) that whenever they get around to returning some emails I sent them in 1998 that would be great." - Stugats
"It takes a special kind of person to be on staff in the forum. Not just any geek off the street can be a mod."- CDUBB
"The only thing Westy's figured on this board is how to kill a thread."- hawkchief
"It's difficult for me to read anything JW writes. I keep visualizing him sitting there like Jabba the Hut and hearing that adenoidal voice of his." - Faxmebeers
W: All year long I tried and tried to remember who had coined JW's voice as "adenoidal". Little did I know, the answer was sitting on the Best Of site in the entire time.
"Faxmequeers, I need a #6 with just mayo and a regular coke. And biggie size that (just tell KCPaul behind the counter, he'll know what to do). Then go to the nearest convenience store and pick me up some high quality skin-rags and a 40 of Miller (shut the fug up, haters...it's the Champagne of Beers!). Now deliver all that to me, PRONTO!! See if you can beat Catkins' record. He had all this shit to me in 14 minutes and 8 seconds, setting a newbie record that still stands. That, my friend, is why he's now a Hall of Famer."- Hot Carl
W: It really IS the Champagne Of Beers, folks!
"I've had this happen before. At first you're pushing like hell and thinking 'please get out of my ass you fuggin turd!' Then when it starts to happen and it's ripping your ass open, you're like 'Oh sweet lord please STOP!!'. But it's too late and this horrible monster is ripping away. Once the bowels are set into motion it becomes an involuntary muscle reaction. I was at my folks house when it happened to me and my mom was pounding on the door going 'are you allright?' No joke, I was screaming like I had broke my leg. I had to break the sum bitch up with a shovel so it would go down the toilet. I bet you could've shoved a coke can up my ass after that mess." - catkins
W: If catkins had known the implications ahead of time, do you think he would've clicked "Post Reply"?
"Catkins puts a new meaning to 'Have a coke and a smile'." - Twisted Steel
"Holy shit! Stro's posted a curse word now twice in the last few days and is requesting some soft-core porn! Maybe there is hope for him afterall!" - shotgun naked
W: Whatever happened to shotgun naked? Probably off suckin' some Milk Duds.
"I'm with you Bubba. If MU loses let's agree to kill ourselves. When the game ends hang yourself, then I will U2U you. If you don't reply I will really consider it." - Leawood John
"Tired of waiting for Westy Updates? Check out this: Phat Endy's Westmar is Too Damn Slow Site. It's not updated yet." - Phat Endy
W: In case you missed it, here's the link: http://phatendy.blogspot.com.
Be sure to take note of the first quote Endy used.
"If Westy's going on double secret probation, we'll need to get a replacement for him. How's this for an advertisement? JOB OPPORTUNITY: The members of kcforum.net are looking for a temporary replacement for a forum member currently shirking his duties as the lead historian and librarian of witty, clever and/or other noteworthy forum quotes. Applicants must have extensive time on their hands and an ability to massage the massive egos of internet forum nerds who find themselves to be far more amusing than they really are. Applicants must also be able to interpret and decipher grammatically egregious posts by drunken losers. No pay . . . no benefits . . . just the pride of knowing you are memorializing the wasted time of others for all eternity." - lawgeek
"Pictures would help. We sure as hell can't masturbate to the 'witty' comments you guys make in here!" - SBTB Queen
W: Sigh
"I just glanced to see how many people were in the chatroom. It said '1'. I bet THAT'S an interesting conversation...I was going to start a thread this AM asking everyone what they thought Footys was doing in the chatroom alone all the time." - westmar
W: And thus, Footys and the "(1)" was born.
"Why the hell would anyone read a book after discovering this site?" - BobbyD
W: Unless it was a book ABOUT this site.
"That's not a fuggin' update...that's the incomprehensible ramblings of a madman. I think your site is called 'Best of KCForum.net', not 'Here's the shit that Westy REALLY thinks about all the time.' Geez..." - Hot Carl
W: Guilty as charged...several times in 2004.
"I got an idea, O&A. Just pour all your beers right down the toilet or in the parking lot and skip the middle man!" - Hoosier Dan
"New schoolers throw up to make more room for beer!" - frankentiger
"I noticed in the picture that O&A's hotdog has hardly been chewed. He probably could have put it on a bun with some mustard and ate it a second time." - Hot Carl
"Edie's (from The Sopranos) got a big fat ass. You'll see 20 better asses the next time you go to Super Target. (but make sure it's a Super Target because I don't want you coming back from some regular target and crying about how you only saw 6)." - Footys
"Homeless people are just salespeople. They are selling YOU to give them your money. I wish I could tell my customers to fuck off on a daily basis, yet still survive." - Master P
W: You can if you live in New York.
"No problem. I am having to 'BobbyD' it for folks all the time. Another phrase for the forum dictionary: 'BobbyD' (verb) to summarize every 2 pages for those with short memories and shorter attention spans." - O&A Army
W: The world may be coming to an end if we have to give O&A credit for this term.
"FUCJK THIS PLACE. You know i got on to this because my freind said that it was good net working, but come to find out it's just a bunch of fucking kids that won't help. Well this is a fuck up place when you can't even get help from fello kc people you fucking people suck, i will never comeback. And if you post here because you think that your witty, stop think to your self, hmmmmmmmmmmmm i love sucking cock and typing on the form. Let's see what my freind say,s next o wait i could just call the person everybody in here go f your self. BITCHES." -thelawwon
W: Another highlight in 2004. If you ever wondered where "Fucjk" came from...now you know. The classic meltdown of thelawwon.
"Guys, I have a quick question...seriously! My girlfriend keeps wanting me to let her stick her dildo up my butt. WTF!?! I said no way but she swears I will like it. Anyone have any experience with this? Feel free to flip me shit but I need some real answers. I'm leaning towards letting her do it." - KC Kid (played by Hot Carl/hawkchief)
"Rule number 1 when you go out to get lunch...always log off your computer so the fuck sticks you work with (hawkchief & Hot Carl) don't post bullshit for everybody else to enjoy." - KC Kid (played by himself)
"But the joint (KCFORUM) is getting big enough to diversify a bit. If the new rooms suck...they'll get dumped. Like one college chick to the other...just experimenting today." - Paintman
"MC86 is so full of shit tonight, if he took an ex-lax he'd disappear." - Intense one
"When he (Whitlock) wears that yellow suit on the Sports Reporters I almost expect the other journalists to rise off the floor and orbit him." - Phat Endy
"People in general are idiots." - KCPowercat
W: BALEE DAT!
"Sheri is a cutie. I wonder if she has any nude pics up anywhere to show her carpet matches the drapes." - HuskerBen
"I have to admit it. I needed a can of skoal and didn't have the money, so I sold half of my interest in kcforum.net to Todd (Leabo). We had both signed non disclosure statements about it, but you know bulldog Greg Hall somehow found out. It's out there now and I take full responsibility for it." - combine_billy
"Does anyone else get a picture in their mind of Hipity eventually chained up in BLB's basement wearing a leather mask with chicken feathers poking outta his ass. A soccer ball positioned 4 feet away from him with a three foot length of chain secured to a studded dog collar around his neck and eventually choking himself to death as he insistently tries to bend it like Beckham?" -JayhawkChris
"John Landsberg is a dork. You (Leawood John) should separate yourself from his friendship." - Twisted Steel
"I generally nail ugly hookers instead of high priced call girls. It saves money and they are more open to fis...nevermind." - CDUBB
"My wife is a total MILF. Not because she is blazing hot or anything. I would just like to be able to f*** her every once and a while." - Phat Endy
"...but I did order some free samples (+ shipping and handling) of an amazing pill that will increase my size by a whopping 33%. That will be worth it when the wife sees that massive 6"er coming her way." - Stromyle
"I f***ed the chick in Hanson." - bmanpoo
"So I did (read Endy's thread about Battle Cat) and it was, by far, a fine fine body of work. I actually got rather moist. Dr. Endy should be mighty proud." - just mary
W: Anyone else miss just mary? She's been MIA for nearly 2 months.
"You (NickOrange) may just fit in here after all. Not to mention pell will love you because you are both tree huggin liberal pee pee patters." - CDUBB
"There's no better way to take a shit in bin Laden's mouth than to open a McDonald's in every corner of the Radical Theocratic Arab world." - Soylent Green
"...anyone who really knows Westmar knows he does his absolute best work in the music forum." - pell
W: It's good to know that pell doesn't let the crap I give him on a weekly basis get in his way of recognizing greatness.
"There is a bias in the media, but it ain't liberal, it's incompetence and laziness." - Maxtastic
"Well then, in the future, you need to stick to menu choices #1 or #2 that I listed...they go great with Super size chili cheese tots. If you eat this shit, you don't have to worry about getting fat...you'll be dead soon." - WILDCAT NATION
"Endy, thanks for the pictures, my man. I haven't jacked off this much in ages. My monitor looks like the back of a seat at the Old Chelsea Theatre." - catkins
"Twisted get in here and straighten out your sportsnut." - chiefsfarmteam
"He's (bmanpoo) really only 26, but he rides his bike in sandstorms." - Real Stonie
"Yes, but moving forward does mean a lot. I just printed off this week's standings (Poster Power Rankings) and am having my wife put it in my kcforum scrapbook." - Karupt
"...last night, I offered to show her my 'gavel'. She sustained her own objection to that one. Keep in mind though that this is the same women who, after I adopted Pell's BRILLIANT strategy of tying a bow around my equipment and presenting it to my wife for Christmas, said, 'can I return it?'" - lawgeek
"I went to the Missouri Driver's License Bureau and said 'Grunny sent me'! They suspended my license." - Colonel Klink
"My 4-year old daughter had to pee really bad Sat. night so I held her in a parking lot by the car so she could go. Next thing I know, she says, 'now I'm going to poop, Mom.' I thought for sure she was going to sh*t on my feet! Needless to say, we hurried inside." - KCSportsnut
"Careful BLB, when Hipity says he's bringing a gun, it's not what you think it means." - Phat Endy
"No one dominates a pole quite like Hipity...doesn't matter if it is his or someone elses." -Fiberoptician
"Yeah now that we (KCFORUM) have been mentioned in The Pitch this place will become a gay hook up chat room." - CDUBB
"Butt hair is now being used by truckers as 'grip handles'." - Real Stonie
"I like the moves. They (Royals) actually addressed some needs. Had Carl Peterson and Dick Vermeil been in charge of the trade, the Royals would have ended up with 2 more first baseman and another shortstop." - Intense one
"Westmar needs to know that when we stop bitching we stop caring. Hot Carl cares so much." - Twisted Steel
"I'm surprised I'm the first openly gay man here. I thought it seemed like a pretty cool place where just about anything goes. I mean it's called the Terror Dome for god's sake." - maxallen
W: Thanks to maxallen coming out of The Forum Closet, I now feel guilty everytime I make a "homosexual-like" comment. Recently, I have found myself adding a "no offense to maxallen" after these posts.
"Any (softball) league where they expect you to actually slide is stupid. We've had some guys fall down, but that's as close to sliding as we come." - Husker Z
In my (softball) league, if there is a play at the plate, someone made a big mistake." - MC86
"What...you aren't as excited about the prospect of Charlie Steiner and Bob Ley?! Now if they could only bring Tom Mees back...THAT would be something!" - pell
"If I selected music for the political views of the artists performing, everything I listen to would suck. These guys make a living smoking weed, playing guitar, and banging groupies. If you vote according to what this group of people say I question your intelligence" - iplayoutside
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More from 2004 that never appeared here due to the Best Of site LOCKOUT
"This thread would make Stevie Wonder's eyes bleed." - toilet fish
"(Chad Boeger is) so far up Brett's ass he can almost see Frank Boal." - Celticfan
"JRJ (Jim Rome JR.) outkicked the hell out of his coverage, well done biatch." - slim shady
"As far as the media, hey don't lump me in with them. I never claimed to be legitimate." -Leawood John
"One station has a guy in the mental ward and the other in jail. This one is too close to call." -Karupt
"I made a grilled cheese sandwich today for lunch and the sandwich looked like the spitting image of Dan and TT making out. I'm selling it on ebay..." - catkins
"If Katie Horner wants to really help the citizens of KC, she needs to get away from being on her back all the time and come over and shovel the rest of my driveway..." - GorillaHawk364
"It's sunny and 74 in New Orleans. 100% chance of overnight drunkenness." - nomototo
W: I truly love The Big Easy.
"Levitra, for when it counts? Levitra for a stonger longer lasting ...? I thought selling sex was a bad thing during football games. Where are all those pissed off bible thumpers that were bitching about Monday night and T.O. hanging out with some skank? Aren't their kids watching games right now?" - bwoods
W: This was without a doubt the best point bwoods made all season long in his Game-Day Chiefs threads.
"You forgot that Jeff George was signed by the Bears...He and JW have been shower buddies for years...This will be the hottest topic on his show. He also will be seriously pimping his book. Hope it comes with crayons." - Leawood John
"Here's the difference...Priest Holmes gets hurt and eats nachos. Juan-Gone would get hurt eating nachos." - Intense one
"Speaking of tapeworms, I have always wanted to try and get a fad diet started using tapeworms. Think about it, eat all you want, the tapeworm takes care of it for you. (The) FDA never really approved it for some reason." - KCPowercat
W: After all the booze and food I went through during the holidays, I could sure use that tapeworm right now.
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HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN?
Once a driving force behind the KCFORUM.net "new schoolers", this man soon fell into a world of darkness after his campaign to become president failed miserably. It wasn't long before everyone was asking: "Where's hawkchief? Is he off sucking #$%*?" To this day, we can only assume he is. If you see this man or notice that he is posting on other forums, please contact his (allegedly) heterosexual roommate, Tito Man Tito, at...
1-800-55-WGARA.
